Test Missle Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

171 Results for Test Missle

View 91 - 100 results for test missle comic strips. Discover the best "Test Missle" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #concerns about work, #teds work, #team building exercise, #test here, #sent asok

View Transcript

Transcript

"I listened to your concerns about Ted's work, so I tricked him into being left in the middle of the desert." "He thinks it's a team-building exercise. Hee hee!" "We wanted you to transfer him, not kill him." "Really? This is awkward." "And this is Ted. Where's Asok?"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I've decided to test my market value by doing some interviews. "Would you like some interview tips?" "Nah. I'll use my instincts." "You're an hour late!" "Your men's room is like a palace."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Having two computers is a violation of the company's 5S rules of standardized workspace. "I need two computers to test my software. There's no way to do my job with one." "I have a compromise solution. Put this little red tag on one of them and tell me later if anything bad happens."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #topper versus alice, #secret government, #sleep deprived, #slept since febraury, #punch, #rip head, #vulgar

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper versus Alice "I didn't get much sleep last night." "That's nothing." "I'm part of a secret government test on sleep deprivation. I haven't slept since February." "I so want to punch you right now." "That's nothing. I'll rip off my own head and make me eat it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cubicle, #offcie, #meeting, #privacy, #geographically dependant, #benchmark test, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Dilbert, come to my office for a minute." Dilbert: "What's in your office?" The boss: "You and I will be there." Dilbert: "If you just want to talk, we can do it right here and save us both some time." The boss: "Maybe we need privacy, did you ever think of that?" Dilbert: "Do we need it?" The Boss: "No, that was just an example. There are many, many reasons why we should talk in my office." Dilbert: "I'll be fascinated to find out what kind of information is geographically dependent." The Boss: "Now, do you have the results from the Benchmark Tests?" Dilbert: "Yup. In my cubicle."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo visist, #donuts, #taste test, #all donuts, #dont panic, #fix donuts, #screaming, #fresh and delicious

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Carol, I want to be certain that everything is perfect for the CEO's visit." "Check the doughnuts to make sure that they're fresh and delicious." Later Carol: Mmm... This one is okay." "How can I be sure this isn't the one good doughnut in the batch." "I'll have to taste every one of them." The Boss: "CAROL!!!" Carol: "Don't panic. I can fix this." "This is odd: Most of my doughnut is delicious, but one part tastes like gum."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stock - picking software, #more feauture, #make hair grow, #bald guys, #test on rat, #butticks

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: My stock-picking software needs more features. "I think I'll add a module that claims to make hair grow on bald guys. I'll first test it on a rat." Ratbert: "I feel a new one on my buttocks!" Dogbert: "That's all the proof I need."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job interview, #extra luck, #less available, #albert einstein, #hero, #critic of war, #jeffrey dahmer, #lottery win

View Transcript

Transcript

"I have a job interview. Wish me luck." "No." "If you get extra luck then there might be less available for me." "I don't think it works that way." "I can't take that chance." "Tell me, Dilbert, who would you consider your hero?" "Albert Einstein." "That should be safe." "Oh, really? He was an outspoken critic of war. We design missle guidance systems." "How about Jeffrey Dahmer? No?" "I won the lottery!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pay calculated, #teal, #side conversations, #cilantro, #head will explode, #test theory, #better than hoped, #meeting, #table, #conference table, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

"You pay will be calculated a new way." "Then I said teal isn't a color." "Shhh! no side conversations." "Multiplied by the base salary." "I think it's a spice." "No side conversations." "It's like cilantro." "I can't help it. I'm the kind of guy who needs to talk or else it feels like my head will explode." "Let's test that theory." Mmmph! "Wow, that worked out better than I'd hoped."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new chip, #slower, #claim fastest, #benchmark test, #used old drivers, #wearing a wire, #marketing, #crime, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Our new chip is slower than our competition's products." The Boss: "We'll claim we're the fastest. If anyone does benchmark tests, we'll say they used old drivers." Dilbert: "Whenever I talk to you, I feel like I should be wearing a wire." The boss: "Since when is marketing a crime?"