True Costs Comic Strips - Page 10

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202 Results for True Costs

View 91 - 100 results for true costs comic strips. Discover the best "True Costs" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frisutration, #vendor, #dela, #cost, #product costs, #shipping, #won't answer, #deliberate avoidance, #crazy making, #systems costs, #delivery, #stuck

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Dilbert: "What would your system cost?" Vendor: "We can deliver in two weeks." Dilbert: "But what would it cost?" Vendor: "A lot of vendors deliver in four weeks, but we can do it in two." Dilbert: "I'm asking about price, not delivery schedules." Vendor: "Do you want it shipped by ground or air? Air is even faster." Dilbert: "What does it cost?" Vendor: "Ground costs less than air." Dilbert: "GAAA!!! What does the SYSTEM cost?!!" Vendor: "For ground?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonian, #factory, #million dollars, #competition, #office, #rebel attack

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Dilbert: Rebels have threatened to attack our Elbonian factory unless we give them a million dollars. The Boss: "That's outrageous! Tell them their competition offered to not attack us for half that price." Negotiations begin Elbonian: "That wouldn't even cover our costs of not attacking!"

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"Every project you worked on this year got canceled after the reorganization." "It's as if you didn't even exist." "That's not entirely true." "For example, I occupied space." "I'd like to see someone who doesn't exist do that." "A dead person can occupy space." "But a dead person exists." "I won the argument, but it was a hollow victory."

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I asked Disgruntled Doug to work on our pricing model. "The fate of the entire company rests in his tiny hands." "That reminds me: I gave your cubicle to an intern." "But don't worry. I have another workspace for you." "You can use this little cardboard box that the laser printer came in." "It's only temporary." "Until we can find you a larger cardboard box." "I have an urge to underestimate costs."

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"We're planning to outsource half of the department." "You can't tell anyone." "Is it true that half of the department will be outsourced?" "Before you answer, I should tell you that I've made a list..." "...of all the responses that mean the same as yes." "For example, if you say, 'Ignore the rumors,' that means yes." "Also on the list are, 'Why do you ask?' and, 'Who told you that?'" "That list is stupid." "Gaaa!!! That's number 8 on my list!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #heals itself, #sales engineer, #sales rep, #totally true, #truth vs.lies, #questions

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Sales Engineer "Your sales rep told us that the product heals itself. Is that true?" Dilbert: It's totally true...that he said that. sales engineer: Let me ask this another way... Dilbert: NOOO!!! One way per question!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Is it true that you allowed a vampire to run the blood drive?" "Yes, and it takes a big man to admit he's wrong." "You admit you were wrong?" "I decided to lose weight."

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"It's stressful to be a contract employee. I only get paid for the hours I work." "I can't enjoy my time off because it feels as if it costs me a fortune!" "Do you know what I mean?" "Yeah, I had a feeling once."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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There's a rumor that you're dead. Is it true? "He'll be missed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I heard that you're a certified project management zombie. Is that true?" "I'm an assertive and innovative professional, experienced in project and operations management methodology and process development." "He didn't seem dangerous." "I just sat through a three-hour project review meeting."