Uses Head Bonk Comic Strips - Page 10

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View 91 - 100 results for uses head bonk comic strips. Discover the best "Uses Head Bonk" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #embarrassment, #walkways, #minute, #meeting, #walk and talk, #barely concentrate, #prove underling wrong, #business

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Dilbert: Do you have a minute? Boss: I'm on my way to a meeting. Follow me. We'll walk and talk. Dilbert: I don't see how this can possibly work. You can barely concentrate when you're sitting perfectly still. When you add the extra complexity of walking, it's like asking a squirrel to land a 747. Boss: Must... prove underling... wrong... Noise: BONK! Dilbert: I didn't know that being right could feel so good.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public speaking, #financial model, #complicated, #formula errors, #management, #figures support, #schemes for career development, #life is ridiculous

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Man: My financial model in Excel is so complicated that I assume it's riddled with formula errors. But that's okay because management only uses the results when the figures support their schemes for career advancement. Uh-oh. I just realized that my life is ridiculous. Boss: Do you have hand-outs?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #lawyer, #feels wrong, #research, #harvard law degree, #feelingl, #greasy food and ignorance, #data, #harvard degree over cheeseburger, #bad mood, #science, #legal

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Boss: This doesn't feel right. Dilbert: It came straight from our lawyer. Boss: It just feels wrong. Can you research it a little more? Dilbert: Sure. I can do that research in my head. Let's see... our lawyer got his degree at Harvard and has twenty years in this exact field. Whereas you have a "feeling" that is probably the result of an unholy combination of greasy food and ignorance. The data clearly favors the Harvard Law degree over the cheeseburger. ... Good luck. He's in a bad mood.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #center balanced, #considered an earring, #died getting haircut, #jewelry, #laziness, #normal problems, #sleeping in chair

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Wally says, "I considered getting an earring to make myself more fascinating." Wally says, "But I spend a lot of time sleeping in my chair, so I need my head to be center balanced." Dilbert says, "You don't have normal problems." Wally says, "I almost died getting my hair cut."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #depressed, #cubicle, #take off jacket, #sit at computer, #powerpoint slides, #happy, #devil, #giant spoon, #prince of insufficient light

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Dilbert says, "What fantasy will I use today to stave off madness?" Dilbert says, "Maybe I'll be 'the man who changed an industry with his powerpoint slides.'" Phil says, "I have a report of unauthorized happiness inside of a head."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intern, #promote, #excited, #dance, #annoyed, #arrogant, #limbo, #exist

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The Boss says, "Asok, you've been such a good intern that I've decided to promote you." The Boss says, "Your new status is called limbo. You will exist in a plane between the living and the damned." Asok says, "Yes!!! I will exist!" The Boss says, "Great. It went right to his head."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #salesman, #suit, #paper bag, #over head, #secret

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The Boss says, "Our best sales guy asked for you to accompany him on a sales call." Dilbert says, "What's the secret of being a good sales person?" Coworker says, "You need to give customers the information they need?" Coworker says, "?Without getting in their faces so often that you become a nuisance." Coworker says, "For example, a customer would get sick of your face much sooner than mine." Coworker says, "So halfway through the sales call, you'll need to put this bag over your head while I close the deal." Man says, "It looks as if I win our bet." Coworker says, "No... wait for it..." Man says, "Whoa. How do you do that?" Coworker says, "It's called sales. Now you owe me a purchase order."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intern, #pretend, #owner, #yell, #mouth open, #fire, #annoyed, #surprise, #power, #apologize, #point

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Dilbert says, "Asok, I want you to make decision as if you owned the company." Asok says, "Clear out your desk, you worthless bag of meat!" Asok says, "Sorry. The fake power went to my head for a moment."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new job, #double workload, #hold papers, #complain, #exaggerate, #sit in chair

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Alice says, "Did I tell you I'm doing two jobs now?" Dilbert says, "About a million times." Dilbert says, "You've complained about it so much that it's like a song I can't get out of my head." Alice says, "I only found out yesterday." Dilbert says, "I'm trying to get ahead of it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new head regulator, #small man, #pocket, #pet head, #breast feed, #lactate, #kibble, #drinks, #ceo

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CEO says, "Have you met the new head regulator for our industry?" CEO says, "At first it was inconvenient to feed him." CEO says, "Luckily I started lactating." Man says, "Have you tried kibble?"