Waste Inspiration Comic Strips - Page 10

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112 Results for Waste Inspiration

View 91 - 100 results for waste inspiration comic strips. Discover the best "Waste Inspiration" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #special chromosome, #assignments, #waste of time, #sweet smell, #men more perceptive

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Alice walks away from Dilbert's cubicle and says, "I don't believe men have a special chromosome to tell them which assignments are a waste of time." Dilbert leans out of his cubicle and says, "We do." Alice approaches Asok and thinks, "I will test the theory on young Asok the intern." Asok looks at the documents Alice is holding and says, "Mmm . . . The sweet smell of unnecessary work." Alice thinks, "Maybe men are more perceptive than you'd think." Asok thinks, "She's aroused. I'll make my move."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new product deal, #alert in effect, #danger new idea, #crush o matic

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Wally and Dilbert stand with the Boss. Dilbert says, "Wally and I came up with a great new product idea!" A voice says over an intercom, "Inspiration alert in effect!!" Another voice says, "Danger! New idea!" An arm extends down and drops a metal casing onto the Boss's head. The intercom says, "State your idea now." There is a large mallet poised over Dilbert's head that has written on it, "Crush-O-Matic." Dilbert says to Wally, "Um, you tell him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hired, #finance, #dept, #cut spending, #studying, #inefficeincy, #boldface, #electricity, #money

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Ratbert stands on Dilbert's desk and says, "I've been hired by the finance department to help cut spending." Ratbert continues, "I'll be studying your every move and looking for waste and inefficiency." Looking over Dilbert's shoulder at his monitor, Ratbert says, "Those words in boldface look like they're sucking up the ol' electricity."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #three day workshop, #sahring, #form teams, #paper airplanes, #blindfolded, #flight, #unconditional love, #co workers, #accountants, #marketers, #secreatries, #competitive lion, #workload, #eraser pilot, #group hug

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An instructor stands at the front of a room and says, "Let's go around the circle and share what we learned in the three-day workshop." Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit together. Wally says, "At first I thought it was a waste of our training budget . . ." Wally says, "Then you asked us to form teams and make paper airplanes while blindfolded . . ." Wally turns to Dilbert and says, "I don't know if it was because of the darkness or the way we shared our thoughts about flight . . ." Wally says, "But suddenly I found unconditional love for my co-workers. Be they accountants, be they marketeers or be they secretaries." Wally stands on his chair and says, "As a result, I've become a competitive lion, eager to pounce on my workload and increase stockholder values!!" The instructor says, "Thank you, Wally. Dilbert, what did you learn?" Dilbert says, "I learned that you shouldn't put a little eraser-pilot in your paper airplane." Wally says, "Somebody needs a group hug."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #black outs, #lights, #motion detectors, #hired a temp, #walk around, #go off, #another journalism major, #waste, #fan us

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The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We've been having a problem with black-outs. The office lights are controlled by motion detectors." A man stands next to the Boss flapping his arms. The Boss continues, "I hired a temp to walk around and flap his arms so the lights won't go off." Dilbert and Wally watch the temp flap his arms. Dilbert says, "Another Journalism major enters the workforce." Wally says, "It seems like a waste. Maybe he could fan us."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assignments by priority, #won't waste time, #unimportant stuff, #a priority, #personal life, #must do, #b priorities

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The Boss stands in front of Dilbert who is seated at his desk. The Boss hands Dilbert a document and says, "I ranked all of your assignments by priority so you won't waste time on unimportant stuff." Dilbert reads the document and says, "Everything is an 'A' priority except for 'Personal life.'" Dilbert says, "this helps a lot." The Boss says, "I'm still working on the list of 'Must do' 'B' priorities."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #summarized accomplishments, #ceo, #converts waste into penicillain, #calirovoyant, #invented wool, #sheep, #believe me

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"Have you summarized your accomplishments for our CEO?" "Almost done." "Okay - My body converts toxic waste into penicillin, I'm clairvoyant, and I invented wool." "I thought sheep invented wool." "Who are you gonna believe, them or me?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #corporate politics, #waste basket, #teach everything, #promoted level

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Dilbert: I want you to teach me everything you know about corporate politics so I can get promoted to your level. The Boss: To truly understand office politics you must wear a waste basket on your head for one full day. LATER Dilbert: Does this really work? The Boss: It works for me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #delight customers, #fire everybody, #price of products, #slogan, #stop meetings, #we waste your money

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The Boss: "We must constantly ask ourselves what we can do to delight our customers." Alice: "We could stop having these meetings, fire everybody in the room and lower the prices of our products." The Boss: "I was thinking more alone the lines of a slogan." Wally: "How about, 'we waste your money'?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #outdoors, #philosophy

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Dilbert and Dogbert walk in the park. Dilbert says, "The great thing about being human is that I'm superior to all other animals." Dogbert asks, "On what do you base that absurd conclusion?" Dilbert replies, "Humans have the ability to kill any other animal. Therefore, we are superior." Dogbert says, "You could be slaughtered by chipmunks if they ever decide to gang up." Dilbert responds, "But they wouldn't decide to do that. That's why humans are superior." Dilbert continues, "Chipmunks waste their days by eating nuts and playing instead of plotting ways to kill other species." They sit down under a tree. Dogbert says, "It's futile to argue with you." Dilbert replies, "Thank you." A chipmunk in the tree says, "I say we kill him. Is anybody with me?"