2018 Comic Strips - Page 10
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Character
Tuesday October 02,
2018
Death In The Family
Monday October 01,
2018
Use Company Products
Tags Dilbert, the boss, Wally, asok, alice, attention, products, required, use, bad, sign
Transcript
The Boss: It has come to my attention that none of you use the products we make. From now on you are all required to use our products. Asok: Aaaarg!!! Dilbert: Shoot me. The Boss: That's a bad sign. Wally: Nooo!!!
Sunday September 30,
2018
Tags the boss, Dilbert, co-workers, phone calls, cubicle, breaks, flow, Food, smells, break, room, pretending, thermostat
Transcript
Dilbert: My co-workers make it impossible to work. I hear every one of their phone calls. It's maddening. When they walk past my cubicle it breaks my flow. And don't get me started about the food smells coming from the break room. They ask me one dumb question after another. I don't know who keeps turning up the thermostat. But it's too hot to think. The Boss: Would it help if I threaten to fire you? Dilbert: It's worth a try I'll be in my cubicle pretending to work.
Saturday September 29,
2018
Fine Lines
Tags Dilbert, Wally, line, optimism, idiocy, cynicism, realism, will, love, dead, working
Transcript
Dilbert: I've noticed there's a fine line between optimism and idiocy. Wally: There's also a fine line between cynicism and realism. Dilbert: I just lost my will to live. Wally: There's a fine line between dead and working.
Friday September 28,
2018
Everyone Does Their Job
Tags coffee, deadline, Dilbert, fashion, jobs, negative, woman and dating
Transcript
Dilbert: We'll be ready by your deadline if everyone does their jobs in a timely fashion. Woman: How often does that happen? Dilbert: It has never happened. Woman: Then you're saying you won't be ready by the deadline. Dilbert: Why must you be so negative?
Thursday September 27,
2018
Ted The Liar
Tags alice, the boss, ted, liar, policy, forbid, disrespecting, co-workers, lying
Transcript
The Boss: Ted says you called him a liar. Our policy forbids disrespecting your co-workers. Alice: But Ted's lying is okay? The Boss: We don't have a policy about lying. Alice: Did Ted tell you that? The Boss: Yes. Oh...
Wednesday September 26,
2018
No Policy Against Lying
Tags Catbert, ted, evil, director, human, resources, lying, policy, checked
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources. Ted: Alice called me a liar. Catbert: What were you doing when that happened? Ted: Lying. Catbert: Maybe we should talk about that. Ted: There's no company policy against lying I checked.
Tuesday September 25,
2018
Work Is Dehumanizing
Tags the boss, man, workplace, dehumanizing, Environment, dignity, name
Transcript
Man: This workplace is dehumanizing! I can no longer work in this environment! I refuse to allow any more assaults on my dignity. I quit! The Boss: And your name is...?
Monday September 24,
2018
Coworkers Getting Dumber
Tags Catbert, Dilbert, imagination, co-workers, dumber, know
Transcript
Dilbert: Is it my imagination or are my co-workers getting dumber every day? Catbert: They aren't getting dumber. You're just getting to know them better. It looks the same.
Sunday September 23,
2018
Tags Wally, the boss, bad, technology, day, phone, freezing, printer, working, network, warning, lights, christmas, tree, laptop, boot, coincidence, permission, lock, lead-line, box, hero
Transcript
Wally: I'm having a bad technology day. My phone keeps freezing, my printer isn't working, and our network is down. Wally: My car's warning lights look like a Christmas tree, and my laptop won't boot up. Maybe its all just coincidence but I don't think we can take that chance. May I have permission to lock myself in a lead-lined box to protect the rest of the company? The Boss: How will I know you're really in a lead-lined box? Wally: YOu'll know because your phone will be working fine. The Boss: My phone is still working that man is a hero.


