2019 Comic Strips - Page 10
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Character
Wednesday October 02,
2019
Parody Inversion Point
Tags government, sarcasm, parody, business, inversion, reality, absurd
Transcript
dilbert: according to my algorithm, we are heading toward a parody inversion point. that happens when reality becomes so absurd that it is indistinguishable from parody. dogbert: maybe the government can fix that dilbert alarmed: gaaa! i can't tell if you're serious!
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday October 01,
2019
Food Poisoning
Monday September 30,
2019
Casserole For Pot Luck
Tags Food, health & safety, office, office workers, casserole, potluck, inspection, home, kitchen
Transcript
tina: i brought a casserole for the potluck. when are you coming? dilbert: when was the last time the health department did an inspection of your home kitchen? tina: never dilbert: that's when i'll be going to the potluck.
Sunday September 29,
2019
Boss Recommends Blockchain
Tags boss, business, computer software, managers & supervisors, office workers, technology
Transcript
CEO: I don't understand why you are recommending blockchain for this application. Boss: My staff are the experts, but I can explain the basic idea. You see, using blockchain is like losing a necklace on the beach. Then a seagull finds the necklace and takes it back to it's nest. And we all like data security, don't we? CEO: It's almost as if you are proposing a plan you don't understand at any level. Boss: Well, yes, but keep in mind that you wouldn't understand it even if I could explain it. CEO: But you're sure someone on your staff understands it, right? Boss: Define "sure".
Saturday September 28,
2019
Ron Moore
Friday September 27,
2019
Hypothetical Observer
Tags boss, employees, insults, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, idiot
Transcript
Dilbert: Thank you for explaining to me how to do my job, for which I am highly trained and you are not. An observer might be tempted to say only an idiot would do such a thing. Boss: Is that an insult? Dilbert: Hey, don't blame me for what a hypothetical observer says.
Thursday September 26,
2019
Juggling 17 Balls
Tags comparison, criticism, employees, office workers, overwhelmed, juggle
Transcript
Alice: I have too many projects. Boss: Pfft! If a juggler can juggle five balls at once, you can handle seventeen projects. Alice: But...no juggler can juggle seventeen balls at once. Boss: Not the lazy ones.
Wednesday September 25,
2019
Curse Of Competence
Tags computer software, employees, office workers, problem, sarcasm, condescending
Transcript
Man: I need your help solving a software problem on my computer. Dilbert: Why am I cursed with the sort of competence that makes me a servant to the incapable? Man: I don't know what that means. Dilbert: If you did, you could probably fix your own problems.
Tuesday September 24,
2019
Try Hiding
Tags Advice, boss, compliment, criticism, ego, employees, managers & supervisors
Transcript
Dogbert: If you compliment your employees, they will get big heads and think they are underpaid. But if you criticize them, they will be unhappy and quit. Boss: What should I do instead of those things? Dogbert: Have you tried hiding?
Monday September 23,
2019
Would It Look The Same
Tags boss, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, dumb, smart
Transcript
Dilbert: Hypothetically, how would you know if I were dumber than you or much smarter? Because in both cases I would make choices that you wouldn't understand. Wouldn't it look the same to you? Boss: I don't enjoy talking to you.

