5 Year Assessment Comic Strips - Page 10
387 Results for 5 Year Assessment
View 91 - 100 results for 5 year assessment comic strips. Discover the best "5 Year Assessment" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share February 04, 2014's comic on:
Dilbert: I took your advice to start overeating so I could save all of my willpower for work. The only downside is a twenty-year reduction in my life expectancy. Boss: Are you okay with that? Dilbert: Who would want twenty extra years of my life?
Share June 09, 2014's comic on:
Wally: We announced huge losses, but analysts thought it would be even worse, so our stock went up. I'm using a similar system to get a big raise. For years I've been lowering everyone's expectations of my performance. Next I'll... I made a phone call today. Boss: Employee of the year!
Share June 28, 2014's comic on:
Wally: I have a work-related injury, so I need a year off with pay. Catbert: What happened? Wally: I was drinking coffee and listening to a podcast while surfing the Internet for personal reasons. Now my buttocks hurt. Catbert: I think I'm within my rights to kill you.
Share July 17, 2014's comic on:
Boss: I want you to give me an honest assessment of my leadership. THIRTY MINUTES LATER Dilbert: ...like being stabbed by an angry clown while drowning in a septic tank. Boss: Have you heard of honesty? It's terrible.
Share October 25, 2014's comic on:
Boss: Dilbert, meet our new graphic designer. Dilbert: If I had your job, I would secretly sub it out to strangers on the Internet and pay them 5% of my salary while I did nothing all day. Oops, sorry. I didn't know you were already there.
Share March 02, 2015's comic on:
Wally: You might have noticed that I'm wearing clogs with four-inch heels. Studies show that every inch of height is worth $1,000 in income per year. Can I have my $4,000 in a lump sum this year? Boss: I know there is something wrong with this...
Share April 15, 2015's comic on:
CEO: Our Employee Of The Year is Wally, for filing the most patents of any engineer in our history. Dilbert: How many have been granted? CEO: Well, most of them... I assume? Wally: How much coffee does this thing hold?
Share April 16, 2015's comic on:
Wall: I use my "Employee of the Year" trophy for my coffee now because it gives me instant credibility. Dilbert: I don't see how. Wally: People are not deep. Man: That's the dumbest thing anyone's ever... oh, sorry. Didn't see your trophy.
Share July 23, 2015's comic on:
Catbert: Employees voted you "Manager of the Year." As usual, this honor is going to the manager with the worst attendance. We're hoping it's more of a correlation than a causation thing.
Share May 27, 2016's comic on:
Boss: Our Employee Of The Year is Wally, for referring so many new people to work in engineering. We believe he accomplished this feat by manipulating the referral system, but we can't prove it. So just to hedge our bet, we misspelled his name on the certificate. Wally: I had it coming.