Actual Prodcut Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

96 Results for Actual Prodcut

View 91 - 96 results for actual prodcut comic strips. Discover the best "Actual Prodcut" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #add code, #corporate scamming, #darkest day, #designed new prodcut, #draft apology, #engineering success, #make unrelaible, #no upgarde, #press release, #ten years

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Ive designed our new product to work flawlessly for up to ten years. CEO: No one will need an upgrade. Thats no good. Add some code to low it down and make it unreliable after two years. CEO: But make sure the device doesn't slow down until we have an upgrade to sell. Then draft an apology I can put un a press realize when we get caught. Dilbert: You have turned my engineering success into the darkest day of my career. CEO: Thats not even close to being true. Your darkest day will be when the press figures out what we did and I fore you for it.

Virtual Reality

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Virtual Reality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #days, #virtual, #trained, #hospital, #designer, #bed, #lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: After spending three great days in virtual reality, I accidentally trained myself to hate actual reality. Wally: What if this reality is actually another virtual reality, and you're really in a hospital bed somewhere? Dilbert: What kind of designer would make a reality with you in it? Wally: A lazy one.

Copersons

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Copersons - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #correct, #co-worker, #work, #co-person, #leech

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What is the correct name for a co-worker who doesn't do any actual work? I'm thinking "co-person," or possibly just, "leech." Wally: Are we working right now? Dilbert: Good point, co-person.

Spreading Virus

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Spreading Virus  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coronavirus, #covid-19, #business, #health, #spread, #face mask, #happiness, #immune system, #medical, #Advice, #doctor, #manage

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: they say the best way to manage the coronavirus is to spread it to people you dislike. the happiness you get from that will boost your immune system. dilbert: maybe i'll get medical advice from an actual doctor. dogbert: they leave out the good stuff.

Understanding Science

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Understanding Science - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #science, #scientsts, #chipmunk, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i listen to actual scientists, and they say your idea will never work. dilbert: if a chipmunk listens to scientists, should i trust the chipmunk to understand what he heard? tina: i don't get your point. dilbert: and yet you do understand science?

Universe Preparing Problems

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Universe Preparing Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #universe, #preparing, #problems, #anger, #laptop, #hate

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert thinking in from of laptop: uh-oh. i don't seem to have any actual problems today. the universe hates it when i have no problems. it must be preparing a big one. dilbert yelling: what's it gonna be this time, universe?! carol: i'll come back.