Assistant For Five Years Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

470 Results for Assistant For Five Years

View 91 - 100 results for assistant for five years comic strips. Discover the best "Assistant For Five Years" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags assistant manager, clone me, boss, came to you, brilliant employee

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "I need a brilliant employee to be my assistant manager." The Boss continues, "That's why I came to you." Dilbert turns and says, "That's the first nice thing..." The Boss interrupts him, "Your job is to clone me."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil director, human resources, assistant recovers, cold or flu, should dissolved, winged demon, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Asok, "Asok, I want you to work for the evil director of human resources until his assistant recovers." Asok replies, "From what is he recovering? Is it a cold or perhaps a flu?" The Boss responds, "He saw so much evil that his soul dissolved and he became a winged demon."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil hr dircetor, marketing department, bad news, good news, non dairy creamer, five cups a day

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert says to Dilbert and Wally, "The bad news is that I had to get rid of our marketing department." Catbert continues, "The good news is that we have tons of nondairy creamer!" Dilbert and Wally are drinking coffee. Dilbert asks, "Do you think those two things are related?" Wally replies, "If they are, I'm cutting back to five cups a day."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo visit, discontinue work, five days, illusion of productivity, diversity, few open slots

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Our CEO is visiting next week. Discontinue all real work immediately." The Boss continues, "We have five days to create the illusion of productivity." The Boss points to a clipboard and says, "Here's the diversity sign-up sheet. We still have a few open slots that only require a hat."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags demoted, one of the little people, buddy, anger, eyebrows, worked, years, snap out of it

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Demoted. The Boss says to Dilbert, "Hey buddy, can you teach me to be one of the little people?" Dilbert replies, "Buddy? My name is Dilbert. I worked for you for years." The Boss says, "Okay, now I'll try. Am I doing the eyebrows right?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags roboboss, good work, compliments employees, shallow compliment, feel good, high five

View Transcript

Transcript

Roboboss says to Alice, "I am Roboboss. You are a valuable asset. Keep up the good work." Alice replies, "That is the most shallow compliment I have ever heard. But it still made me feel good." Alice continues, "So.. Are you seeing anyone?" Roboboss replies, "High five!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags filling in, pointy haired boss, carol is secretary, administrative assistant, name calling, arroagnt

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to Carol, "Carol, I'm filling in for the pointy-haired boss, so that makes you my secretary." Carol exclaims, "I am an administrative assistant, you stinkin' baboon!" Carol continues, "I will make you pay dearly for your arrogance!" Wally replies, "Could you put a head on this?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags telecommunting, fired four years, get email, stopped coming

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss turns to an employee and asks, "Who are you?" The employee responds, "I'm Allen. I've been telecommuting for four years." The Boss says, "Allen? I fired you four years ago. Didn't you get my e-mail?" Allen and Dilbert are walking. Allen says to Dilbert, "This is exactly why I stopped coming to the office."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags telecommuted for 4 years, fired, unemployment, empowerment, sixth sense

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Allen, and Wally are eating lunch. Allen says, "I telecommuted for four years without knowing until today that I'd been fired." Allen continues, "Apparently unemployment feels exactly like empowerment." Allen continues, "This is just like that movie, 'The Sixth Sense.' Did you like that movie, Wally?... Wally?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags have mail, twelve years, glistens, envelope, happy, awed

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert are in the mail room. Wally says, "I have mail! I've never had mail in twelve years here." Wally continues, "It's not addressed to me but it was in my box so I'm keeping it." Dilbert asks, "No mail for twelve years?" Wally responds, "If I hold it just right it glistens."