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At the staff meeting, Catbert says to Dilbert and Wally, "your personal lives reflect on this company." Catbert continues, "From now on, a strict dress code will be enforced in your homes." At home Dilbert says to Dogbert, "On the plus side, it's one less decision I have to make every day." He's wearing a coon skin cap, suspenders, a tu-tu and knee-high boots.
Man tells Wally, "Request denied. The information services department does not upgrade non-standard computers." Wally says, "It's not an upgrade. It's a replacement." Man says, "Our policy is that it's an upgrade unless you discard the old one." Trash man tells Wally, "Your trash is declined. Our policy is 'no computers'."
Dogbert sits on the hassock watching tv. Dilbert says, "You should read books instead of watching television all the time, Dogbert." Dogbert asks, "Why?" Dilbert replies, "Books are more educational because they don't have any sound or pictures." Dilbert continues, "And books are challenging because it takes hours to read something that television could convey with one image." Dilbert continues, "And books make you think because they have more complex plots." Dilbert continues, "In fact, you can read entire books without even figuring out what the story was about." Dilbert continues, "Now compare that with all the junk you're watching." Dogbert says, "I just watched the story of how DNA was discovered, then learned to bake a cake from scratch, and now I'm learning the causes of global warming." Dogbert asks, "What are you reading?" Dilbert replies, "It's called 'The Poodle Who Killed.'"
Dilbert stands next to Dogbert while he sits at a table drawing. Dogbert says, "I'm creating a comic strip called 'Pippy the Ziphead.'" Dogbert continues, "I'm cramming as much artwork in there as possible, so no one will notice there's only one joke." Dilbert sits next to Dogbert, peruses the cartoon and says, "The joke is on the reader, isn't it?" Dogbert responds, "I'd better cram some more art in there."
The Boss and Dogbert sitting across from Wally and Dilbert at a table. The Boss says, "Mister Dogbert has returned as our C.E.O. becuase no one else wants the job." Dogbert, sitting between The Boss and Asok the Intern, says, "I can't tell you my plan for the assets of this company...but it rhymes with 'village.'" While Wally and Dilbert exit the meeting, Wally says, "I hope it's 'fillage.'"
Alien The Boss, with his tail wagging behind him, walks through the office thinking, "No one really suspects that the real Boss is on a prison tube on my spaceship." Asok the Intern asks, "Is it okay if I wear shorts?" Alien The Boss responds, "Sure. I only care about the quality of your work." Asok, Alice, and Dilbert eating lunch. Asok asks, "If our boss were replaced by an alien, would that be such a bad thing?" Dilbert replies, "It depends on the alien."
Wally hands Carol a piece of paper. Wally says, "How long will it take to process my voucher?" Carol says, "I assign a priority to everyone. I'm happy to say you're a 'one'." Carol sits in front of her computer. Carol thinks, "One chance in a million."
Dilbert sits at a desk with a screwdriver and several other tools and computer pieces in front of him. Dogbert watches. Dilbert says, "I built a ring with a timy computer in it." Dilbert waves his hand around. Dilbert says, "It only displays one character at a time." Dogbert says, "Then what good is it?" Dilbert hold the ring up to his face. Dilbert says, "No time for chit-chat. I'm surfin' the net!" Dogbert says, "Don't make me come over there."
The Boss sits behind his desk. Alice stands. The boss says, "My sources tell me that you're not meeting your objectives." Alice says, "That's not true. Who are these sources? Name one objective I haven't met." The Boss says, "I don't even know what your objectives are." Alice clenches her fists of death, Alice thinks, "Must.. control... fists."
Caption: "Chief Financial Officer" The moron sits between Dilbert and the Boss. The moron says, "I need one-sentence descriptions of each of your projects." Dilbert says, "You're planning to make critical budget decisions based on THAT? " The Moron says, "Yes." Wally stands behind Dilbert who sits at his computer. Wally says, "Wow. Five pages without using a period." Dilbert says, "Thank God for semi-colons."