Being Rude Comic Strips - Page 10
501 Results for Being Rude
View 91 - 100 results for being rude comic strips. Discover the best "Being Rude" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share August 19, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "My new invention can calculate the odds of any event." Dogbert asks, "What are the odds that I care?" Dilbert looks at the device he is holding and says, "Hmm . . . It says 'Same as the odds of being asked to burp the greatest hits of Barry Manilow at Carnegie Hall . . .'" Dilbert continues reading the display, "'. . . And having NBC buy the story rights and turn it into a docudrama.'" Dogbert says, "Bingo."
Share September 09, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert drives his car and thinks, "Oh no . . . I always get stuck behind a truck carrying stuff that could fall off and crack my windshield." Dilbert thinks, "I suppose I'm being a little irrational about this." Dilbert's car follows a flatbed truck with a giant hammer balanced on it. Dilbert thinks, "Still, it's hard to shake the feeling."
Share October 03, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert stands in the kitchen looking at a grocery receipt and thinking, "Looks like they under-charged me twelve cents on the lettuce." Dilbert thinks, "I should go back and give them the twelve cents. But I'm sure they would tell me to keep it for being so honest." Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light and the Ruler of Heck, shows up at the door and says to Dogbert, ". . . I have a report of a flimsy rationalization in progress." Dogbert says, "Try the kitchen."
Share December 15, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert is threatened by an abusive skunk. Skunk: That's right: A big bowl of ice cream could keep me from being afraid and reflexively spraying your living room. Dilbert: This is blackmail! Skunk: My goodness, no. It's just that I can't control my fear response. Now I'm afraid that you won't sing the songs from "cats," while I eat.
Share April 27, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert sits on his pillow watching television. The announcer asks, "Tired of being teased because of thinning nose hair?" The announcer continues, "Get the 'Rivco Nose Toupee' for only $9.95!" Dilbert stands behind Dogbert and says, "It's totally undetectable." Dilbert has hair coming out of his nose.
Share April 30, 1990's comic on:
Share May 04, 1990's comic on:
Michael: ...after you leave you will not remember being inside your computer talking to a microchip. You will purchase worthless computer upgrades and argue that it saves money in the long run. Dilbert: It's a static byte Dwinkelizer... A necessity really.
Share May 16, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert walks across a field holding a microphone. Dogbert thinks, "I never realized that being an 'ambush reporter' could be so much fun." Dogbert approaches a football player and asks, "Is it true you used steroids to gain your massive size?" The man says, "No! I swear! I just use this little AM radio. I don't even own a steroid system!"
Share June 29, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Just great . . . You've destroyed half of the city with my 'Sonic Obliterator' invention . . ." Dilbert continues, "You're being pursued by the police, FBI and National Guard . . . I TRUSTED you. Is there anything you'd like to say to me?" Dogbert replies, "Oh, yeah, thank you very much for letting me borrow the Obliterator . . . It's been great . . . Can I use it again tomorrow?"
Share July 09, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of a man's desk and says, "Hi. You must be the new secretary." The man replies, "Well, yes and no . . ." The man explains, "Granted, I'm temporarily being paid for performing secretary-like duties. But I'm really an author, a jazz pianist and a thespian. I have a Ph.D. in Psychology." Dilbert says, "Sounds like a little crisis with the ol' self-image." The man adds, "And a gourmet chef . . ."