Birds Off Building Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

695 Results for Birds Off Building

View 91 - 100 results for birds off building comic strips. Discover the best "Birds Off Building" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rumor of layoffs, #nope, #friday, #monday, #day off, #boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted approaches the Boss' desk and asks, "I heard a rumor that there might be layoffs on Friday. Is it true?" The Boss shakes his head and signals with his arms. He says, "Absolutely not. No way. Nope. Negatory. No, no, no, no, no." Ted says, "Great. Can I take off Friday?" The Boss looks away guiltily and says, "Monday would be better."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stock market expert, #microphone, #tail off camera, #makes me wag, #honest work

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert sits behind a desk in front of a camera. The cameraman hands him a microphone and says, "Clip this microphone to your fur. We're live in two." Dogbert responds, "Make sure my tail is off camera. I'll be recommending stocks I own and that sort of thing makes me wag." The cameraman thinks to himself, "Someday I gotta get honest work."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #day off, #move my home, #one hour, #negotiate, #can't use vehicle

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok asks The Boss, "May I have a day off to move my home?" The Boss says, "One hour." Asok replies, "What? Why only one hour?" The Boss says, "I like to negotiate." Asok says, "I guess I can try doing it in one hour." The Boss adds, "And you can't use a vehicle."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #training cd, #brainwashed, #cuborg, #insurance, #cosmetic surgery, #jump off roof, #game system

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok is half cyborg. He sits on the doctor's table and says, "My training CD went bad and brainwashed me to become a cyborg." The doctor responds, "Your insurance doesn't cover cosmetic surgery but you can game the system by jumping off the roof." Asok is on the roof, standing next to a man with intensely large ears. The man says to Asok, "I hear that the follow-up visits don't get any easier."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vacant private offcie, #last one, #ill-will, #coworkers, #diltopia, #take off shoes, #reverence

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is carrying a box. He says to Alice, "I'm moving into a vacant private office. I got the last one." Dilbert continues, "I hope this doesn't cause ill-will in the cubicle-bound co- workers I'm leaving behind." Alice furrows her brow. Dilbert continues, "All I ask is that when you enter Diltopia, you bow in reverence and take off your shoes." Alice clenches her teeth in anger.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tv ad eeffectivesness, #heard of company, #boring commercial, #viewers drift off, #ad money, #special hole

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Wally and The Boss, "A survey of your TV ad effectiveness shows that no one has heard of your company." Dogbert continues, "Your ad only says your name once, at the end of a boring commercial when viewers have drifted off." Dogbert holds up a drawing of Ratbert in a hole and says, "I recommend throwing your ad money into a special kind of hole." The Boss responds, "When can we start?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #investigative reporter, #garbage dumps, #wasteful car, #tires, #park, #boss, #wasteful

View Transcript

Transcript

Investigative Reporter. A reporter and cameraman follow The Boss out of the building. The reporter says, "Explain why your company dumps garbage in the park." The Boss climbs into his giant car. The reporter continues, "And why do you drive such a huge, wasteful vehicle?" The Boss approaches Asok and says, "I need you to scrape something off my tires and take it to the park."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #radiating aura, #extreme incompetence, #turn off, #minute to cool

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Wally, could you.." Wally turns; he has a dotted bubble around his body. The Boss continues, "Oh.. never mind, I see that you're radiating an aura of extreme incompetence." Dilbert, Alice, and Wally are eating lunch. Dilbert says to Wally, "You forgot to turn off your aura." Wally responds, "It takes a minute to cool down."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #statue, #front entrance, #unlucky guy, #karl, #feed birds, #serving example

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "Our facilities management says the new statue by the front entrance isn't a statue." The Boss continues, "It's an unlucky guy named Karl who had been warned many times not to feed the birds." The Boss continues, "Then it talks about statistical clustering.. blah, blah, blah.. and serving an example."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #corporations, #ignore, #jumpy tactics, #laid off, #you might be next, #your imagination

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is at home. He says to Dogbert, "I'm seeing signs that I might get laid off." Dogbert responds, "It's probably your imagination. Just ignore them." Catbert and The Boss are hanging an arrow-shaped sign that reads, "You might be next" on Dilbert's cubicle. Catbert says, "I have to admit that I like it when they're jumpy."