Black Eye Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

111 Results for Black Eye

View 91 - 100 results for black eye comic strips. Discover the best "Black Eye" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #slaes rep, #nice suit, #dilbert questioned, #well dressed engineer, #not redibilty, #reverse makeover, #consultant, #engineers are grungie, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: go with our sales rep and answer the customer's technical questions. whoa! you can't go looking like that. This is a nice suit, exactly, a well dressed engineer has no credicbility! I'll call my reverse make over consultant. Im bob the straight eye for the queer looking guy. Lets see...I'll give you my clothes ...add ear hair eye brow extensions, You seem highly credible and I don't know why. Genius.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #process meeting, #solve problem, #develop process, #generating ideas, #meeting, #cross - discilinary, #swat team, #offsite meeting, #meeting as firewall, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok, The Boss, and Dilbert are sitting next to each other at a meeting. Asok raises his hand excitedly and says, "Ooh! Ooh! I know how to solve that problem!" The Boss replies, "Not so fast, Asok." Asok looks sullen as the Boss continues, "This isn't the solution meeting. This is the process meeting." The Boss continues, "Our goal is to develop a process for generating ideas to solve the problem." Wally turns to Asok and The Boss and says, "We don't know how to develop processes. Someone should have a meeting about that." Wally continues, "Someone like... a cross-disciplinary SWAT team in an offsite lockup meeting." The Boss says, "Hmm.. good idea." He then looks at Dilbert from the corner of his eye and finishes, "I guess this meeting is over." Wally continues to talk to Asok as they're walking out of the meeting. He says, "You see, Asok. You can only thwart a meeting by inventing other meetings to act as a firewall." The Boss approaches Asok at his desk and says, "Asok, I'm putting you on a cross-disciplinary SWAT team."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #gadgets, #vision / eye care, #wally glasses, #google glasses, #enhance reality

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I invented "Wally Glasses" to compete with Google's glasses. Google's glasses enhance reality, whereas Wally glasses make reality look like it isn't worth the effort. Dogbert: Let me know if they kill you.

Dogbert The Product Designer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert The Product Designer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design, #evil, #frustration, #product designer, #torture, #hate people, #styrofoam debris, #invisible buttons

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I decided to become a product designer because I hate people. I will fill every package with styrofoam debris and affix hard-to-remove stickers all over the cases. I'll make the buttons invisible by making them black on a black surface. Ha ha ha! Dilbert: I've always wondered how this stuff happens.

Dogbert The Product Designer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert The Product Designer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design, #form, #function, #product design, #product designer, #selfishness, #portfolio

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Product Designer. Dogbert: You might think my job is to make products that are easy to use. But that wouldn't help me, so instead I design stuff that looks good in my portfolio but is impossible to use. Dilbert: This looks great, but no one will be able to see black buttons on a black case. Dogbert: Not my problem.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meditate, #meditation, #mindful, #mindfulness, #mbct, #stress, #trick, #laziness, #deception, #work ethic, #ruse, #nap, #napping

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Do you mind if I take Steve Jobs' advice and practice meditation and mindfulness? Science says meditation can reduce stress and make me more productive. And obviously it worked for Steve Jobs, so there's that. To the untrained eye, it will seem as if I am napping. But in reality, I will be quieting my mind to boost creativity. Boss: Meditate on your own time. Wally: Wow. That just stressed me out and shut down my creative juices. Boss: Just do your job! Wally: Because quality doesn't matter?

Going Double Digital

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Going Double Digital - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #attention, #distraction, #technology, #watch, #relationships, #dating, #smart phone, #smart watch

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I broke up with my boyfriend because we went double-digital. I got used to sharing time with his phone, bu the hasn't made eye contact since he unboxed his Apple watch. Dilbert: Ooh. Weather. Tina: Did you hear anything I just said?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sexism, #sexist, #misogyny, #conversation, #talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: You give Wally your full attention when he talks, but not me. You hang on every word the man says. But if I try to talk, you act distracted in five seconds. Wally gets more eye contact, too. You don't even look at me half the time I'm talking. Deep down, in your DNA, you know you are a sexist because you don't take me seriously when I speak to you. There is no other explanation, so don't insult me by trying. Dilbert: I give both of you the same amount of attention, but you spread it over more words. Alice: I hate both of you. Dilbert: Did I play that wrong? Wally: Yup.

Change To Bad Design

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Change To Bad Design - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #link, #traffic, #design, #color, #Opinion, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you make that link button blue instead of burnt orange? Dilbert: Yes, if you want people to click on it, and you thrive on bad design. Boss: I have an eye for design. Dilbert: And I have an elbow for music.

What The Boss Said

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
What The Boss Said - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secret, #accusation, #privacy, #following, #bathroom, #restroom, #personal space

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I think you know something about my project and your boss told you to keep quiet. Ha! You just confirmed it by avoiding eye contact! Dilbert: Maybe you could get your own stall? Ted: Why? What do you have to hide?