Buying Friends Comic Strips - Page 10
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132 Results for Buying Friends
View 91 - 100 results for buying friends comic strips. Discover the best "Buying Friends" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday February 01,
2008
Tags #cafe, #change subject, #date, #dinner date, #freinds, #hobbies, #internet, #obscure articles, #technology
Transcript
woman: do you have any hobbies?" Dilbert: I like to read obscure articles on the internet and image having friends who are interested in the same things. Woman: But you do have friends, right? Dilbert: Is it too late to change the subject?"
Monday September 08,
2008
Tags #Promotion, #money for cake, #grossly overpais, #exacerbate, #unfairness, #high cholestrol
Transcript
Tina says, "Ted got promoted, so I'm collecting money for a cake." Dilbert says, "He'll be grossly overpaid compared to us. Buying him cake will exacerbate the unfairness." Tina says, "He has high cholesterol." Dilbert says, "Here's a dollar."
Friday November 07,
2008
Tags #shirt, #one date, #kind of creepy, #ex boyfreind
Transcript
A woman says, "i saw this shirt and I had to get it for you." Dilbert says, "We've had one date and you're buying me a a shirt? That's kind of creepy." The woman says, "What?" Dilbert says, "Is it made from your ex-boyfriend's skin?"
Thursday March 04,
2010
Tags #meeting, #math, #project, #fail, #disaster, #embarrassed, #act dumb, #cancel, #buy, #question, #demonstrate, #hands up, #education, #business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "The math clearly shows that our project won't work, even if we do everything right." The Boss says, "It's embarrassing to cancel a project in the middle. Let's act dumb and hope someone in upper management cancels it for budget reasons." Dilbert says, "Should I stop buying stuff?" The Boss says, "You should buy twice as much."
Friday June 18,
2010
Tags #therapy, #cellphone, #apps, #crazy, #marketing, #steve jobs, #worried, #lie down, #business, #psychology
Transcript
Tina says, "I can't stop buying phone apps that I don't need. Am I crazy?" Therapist says, "Yes, you are totally batspit crazy. You'll need many sessions." Therapist says, "Steve Jobs isn't the only one who can do marketing."
Saturday June 19,
2010
Tags #dog, #warranty plan, #design, #hell, #hot, #tongs, #wide eyes, #evil, #insurance, #animals
Transcript
The Boss says, "I hired a confusopoly consultant to help us design an extended warranty plan." Dogbert says, "Our goal is to scare people into buying insurance that doesn't cover anything." Dogbert says, "I can't tell you where the contract was designed, but be careful because it's still hot."
Wednesday July 21,
2010
Tags #wide eyes, #merger, #hope, #status, #upgrade, #nonexistent, #unimportant, #job, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "The people buying our company don't know that your project exists." The Boss says, "And you're not allowed to talk to anyone over there. But don't lose hope." The Boss says, "I'm working hard to upgrade your status from nonexistent to unimportant."
Thursday July 22,
2010
Tags #lab coat, #invention, #scan, #brain, #predict, #buy, #kill, #suspicious, #microwave, #smoke out of ears, #rays
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My invention can scan a person's brain and predict his buying decisions." Dilbert says, "It says you plan to buy? a blunt object so you can kill me and claim credit for my invention." Dilbert says, "I anticipated that, which is why I included a feature to microwave the offending part of your brain." FERT!
Saturday February 28,
2009
Tags #worker, #deception, #lying
Transcript
The boss says, "Dilbert, meet our new director of marketecture." The boss says, "He's in charge of preventing customers from realizing what they're buying." the boss says, "It's legal because we're only violating the intent of the law." man says, "I can do a thousand push-ups when no one is looking."
Wednesday April 29,
2009
Tags #economy, #money, #demand, #orders, #rejection
Transcript
Alice says, "The company cut my pay so I'm going to date a co-worker to make up the difference." Alice says, "From now on, one of you will be buying all of my meals and gifts." Wally says, "I'm oddly aroused by your offer." Alice says, "In that case it's not you."