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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Uh . . . Dilbert, about that assignment I gave you last month . . ." The Boss continues, "Remember how you thought it was a silly and ridiculous assignment?" Dilbert says, "Yeah?" The Boss replies, "Well, it turns out that I've been spontaneously channeling the spirit of Bozo the Clown." The Boss is suddenly wearing a clown nose and costume.
Dogbert stands at a lab table and says, "I'll use Dilbert's genetic lab to make a man with the wisdom of Ghandi and the strength of Wilt Chamberlain." Dogbert thinks, "Or vice versa." A man wearing an Indian pancha says to Dilbert, "Gimme your car keys. I'm gonna find us some babes." Dilbert replies, "Not in MY sheet."
A boy wearing a cap stands in front of Dogbert's desk and says, "Sign me up, little doggie-dude." Dogbert says, "We'll begin with a film about gruesome highway accidents. It is intended to shock you into driving safely." The boy sits in front of a television eating a snack. The boy asks, "Really? People get shocked by THIS?" Dogbert says, "I'll be following your car in a helicopter."
Dilbert drives the car and Dogbert sits in the passenger seat. Dogbert asks, "Where are we now?" Dilbert replies, "I can't tell you. That's part of the experiment." Dogbert sits on the roof of the car and Dilbert holds a clipboard. Dilbert says, "I read in 'Reader's Digest' how a dog found his way home from a hundred miles away. I want to test your homing instinct." When Dilbert isn't looking, Dogbert drives away in the car. Dilbert says, "Okay, I think we're ready to begin . . ."
The caption says, "Their cars are always clean." A man polishes his car with a cloth. The caption says, "They write letters to express their outrage." A man sits at a table with an open newspaper next to him. The man writes, "Dear Editor, The funny pages is no place for sarcasm! Think about the CHILDREN!" The caption says, "They read the same book more than once." Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and laughing. Dogbert says, "They are the people with way too much time on their hands."
Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert says, "I'm from the law firm of Dogbert, Dogbert and Dogbert. I'm suing you for draining the life force out of your employees." Dogbert holds a rag and says, "After being drained of life, employees are forced to leave the company. The lucky ones get jobs as rags for a car wash, like Joey Pishkin here." The Boss blows his nose on a rag. Dogbert says to the rag he's holding, "What Joey? That's Marge from accounting???"
Dilbert and Dogbert look at a model of Dilbert's Bioworld experiment. Dilbert says, "I've completed the design for Bioworld. Have you selected the volunteers?" Dogbert replies, "Yes." Dilbert reads a list and says, "So . . . These are the brave people whose lives will depend on my ability to engineer a balanced ecology." Dilbert says, "Seven car salesmen plus Ratbert . . ." Dogbert says, "Coincidence."
Dilbert sits outside the dome and types on a laptop, "Day one of the Bioworld experiment is off to a rocky start." Dilbert types, "The volunteers have no edible plants and the oxygen level is dropping." The volunteers hold signs that say "Help" and "Let us out." Dilbert types, "Fortunately, most of the volunteers are ex-car salespeople, so we remain emotionally uninvolved." Dogbert says, "Look how they spelled 'oxygen.'"
Wally says to Dilbert, "Hee hee! How many blondes does it take to change a tire?" Dilbert asks, "One?" Wally says, "No, thirty-seven to lift the car and one to pin the diaper on the tire!!" Wally laughs. Dilbert asks, "Couldn't they just use the jack?" Wally replies, "I wondered about that too."