Condescending Engineer Comic Strips - Page 10

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View 91 - 100 results for condescending engineer comic strips. Discover the best "Condescending Engineer" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2003's comic on:


Tags #makes me happy, #exoskleton, #bad job, #social life, #chemicals, #illusion, #engineer, #soul, #therapy, #psychology, #engineering

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Dilbert is lying on a therapist's couch in an exoskeleton. He says, "My medication makes me happy despite my exoskeleton, bad job, and social life." Dilbert continues, "If chemicals can change the way I think and what I enjoy, then free will must be an illusion." The therapist asks, "What about your soul?" Dilbert responds, "I'm an engineer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2003's comic on:


Tags #critical, #engineer, #handshake, #head with lies, #new team player, #parinoid, #soft and clammy hand, #undead, #engineering

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The Boss introduces a woman to Dilbert, "Dilbert, meet your new team member, Peri Noid." Peri Noid extends her hand and asks, "Why haven't you invited me to a meeting? Who's filling your head with lies?" Peri Noid continues, "Your hand is soft and clammy! Are you the undead?!!" Dilbert replies, "Engineer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2003's comic on:


Tags #at party, #camera advice, #engineer, #physical, #wally dressed as engineer, #engineering

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Dilbert is talking to a woman at a party. The woman says, "You're an engineer, maybe you can tell me what kind of digital camera I should buy." Dilbert responds, "Would you ask a doctor for free advice?" The woman says, "I got a complete physical by the appetizer." Wally approaches them in a doctor's uniform and says, "Yeah, I'm never off duty."

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Share August 07, 2003's comic on:


Tags #new server, #condescending simple version, #full technical explination, #early covislaizations, #no concept of zero

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The Boss: Tell me why you need a new server. and don't give me the condescending simple version for managers. I want a full technical explanation. Dilbert: Early civilizations had no concept of zero. The Boss: Go on.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2003's comic on:


Tags #engineer, #moved to marketing, #lisa, #old apple computer, #old wife, #engineering

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Man: I was an engineer before I moved to marketing. Now I don't remember how to turn on my lisa, Dilbert: You have an old lisa computer from apple? Man: Old wife.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2004's comic on:


Tags #bad attitude, #new engineer, #paid more, #justify, #smile

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"Why does the new engineer get paid more than I do? How do you justify that?" "Unlike you, he doesn't have a bad attitude." "I have a good attitude. Look at this smile. Look!" "My eyes!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 1999's comic on:


Tags #few upgrades to design, #realize engineer, #graduate of liberal arts, #college, #broad exposure, #modern renaissance, #timing circuit, #moby dick, #charles dickens, #engineering classes, #poor engineers, #work is small, #education

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The Boss hands Alice a piece of paper. He says, "I made a few upgrades to your design, Alice." Alice turns and says, "Do you realize you're not an engineer?" The Boss replies, "I'm better! I'm a well-rounded graduate of a liberal arts college." The Boss continues, "The broad exposure to diverse topics made me what I am today." The Boss says, "A modern renaissance man." Alice says, "You scribbled out my timing circuit and wrote in 'Moby Dick by Charles Dickens.'" The Boss says, "Exactly! I'll bet you didn't learn THAT in your engineering classes." The Boss walks away and thinks, "Poor engineers; there world is so small."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 1999's comic on:


Tags #ideas, #naive, #whats wrong, #pat your head, #condescending, #empty handed

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Dilbert stands in the boss' office. Dilbert says, "So that's my idea. What do you think?" The boss says, "Dilbert, you are so naive." The boss says, "There are many things you don't understand." Dilbert says, "That's because you never tell me anything!" The boss says, "Dilbert, Dilbert, Dilbert.." Dilbert says, "Like now for example!" Dilbert says, "Jeepers Cripes! Just tell me what is wrong with my idea!" The boss motions to the side of his desk and says, "LEan over here so I can pat your head in a condescending way." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on their couch at home. Dogbert says, "So you took the pat?" Dilbert says, "I didn't want to leave empty-handed"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 1999's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #new engineer, #cheap, #huge raise, #under budget, #static electricity, #fuzzy cute, #dead now

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Title reads: "Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources." Catbert is at his desk. He says to Dilbert, "I hired a new engineer for your project." Catbert unveils the new engineer. He is a joke. His tongue hangs out of his mouth, his eyes are wide, his collar is up and one side of his shirt is untucked. Catbert says, "He's never been an engineer before." Dilbert listens as Catbert continues, "But YOU'RE an engineer, so how hard could it be?" Catbert adds, "And he's cheap! I'll get a huge raise for being under budget." Dilbert is getting furious. Catbert exclaims, "And your project will fail! Ha Ha Ha Ha!" As the new engineer reaches towards him, Catbert realizes, "Uh-oh. I laughed myself full of static electricity." The new engineer thinks, "Fuzzy. Cute." and pets Catbert. "Zap!" Dilbert, standing over the body of the new engineer, asks, "He's dead. Now what?" Catbert replies, "I guess you'll have to drag him to the meetings."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 1999's comic on:


Tags #mordac, #preventer of information services, #exceeded disk sapce, #one week, #no email, #engineer, #survive, #modem taped ankle, #engineering

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Mordac, arms spread in exclamation, says to a seated Dilbert, "I am Mordac, the preventer of information services!!" Mordac points at Dilbert and says, "You have exceeded your allocation of disk space on the server!" Mordac says, "I sentence you to one week without e-mail." Dilbert says, "No problem." Mordac says, "No problem? How can an engineer survive without e-mail?" Mordac points to the wall and says, "UP AGAINST THE WALL!!" Mordac frisks Dilbert and says, "WHERE IS IT? Dilbert says to Dogbert, "He found the modem taped to my ankle but he missed my wireless pen modem." loremipsum