Corrupt Corporate Culture Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

153 Results for Corrupt Corporate Culture

View 91 - 100 results for corrupt corporate culture comic strips. Discover the best "Corrupt Corporate Culture" comics from Dilbert.com.

Credit Goes To Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Credit Goes To Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #business, #culture, #idea, #managers & supervisors, #ownership, #report, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i realize this report has dilbert's name on it, but the credit goes to me. because i ordered him to do it. dilbert: actually, i came up with the idea and wrote it on my own time. boss: well, i created the culture that made it all possible. dilbert yelling: i did the work!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #pop, #psychologist, #lecture, #video, #makeover, #pop culture, #madonna

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits across from a desk and says, "I've decided to become a pop psychologist. I need your help to make my lecture video." A man in sunglasses replies, "You came to the right place, babe. First, you need a new look." Dogbert is wearing a pony tail of false hair and a pointed brassiere. Dogbert says, "Nice try, but frankly, this look didn't work too well for Madonna either."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #business meeting, #fitness, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Congratulations, Mister Dogbert. You submitted the lowest bid for creating our corporate fitness program." The Boss continues, "The other bidders wanted money. You're the only one who offered to do it just for the laughs." The Boss continues, "Although I don't see what's so funny about it." Dogbert replies, "Engineers . . . Aerobics . . . Think about it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #planes going down, #one parachute, #harvard mba, #dog, #knapsack, #old joke, #ceo grabs, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands in the cabin of the corporate jet wearing a parachute on his back. He says to the CEO, "It looks like the plane's going down and there's only one parachute." The CEO looks shocked. The CEO grabs the parachute and screams, "Give it to me!!! I'm a CEO with a Harvard MBA. You're a dog!!" Dogbert and the CEO fall through the air wearing packs on their backs. Dogbert says to the CEO, "That's my knapsack." As some fruit and loose paper falls out of the CEO's pack, he says, "Old joke."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager, #chose path, #phil, #ruler of heck, #punisher, #minor sins, #procter and gamble, #home exercise spoons

View Transcript

Transcript

Phil and the Boss sit at a table eating lunch. Phil says, "Mom wanted me to be a manager like you. But I chose my own path." Phil continues, "I became Phil, the Ruler of Heck, the Punisher of Minor Sins!" The Boss asks, "How do you make money?" Phil answers, "Corporate sponsorship. 'Procter and Gamble' pays me to stay away from them." The Boss says, "You should sell a line of home-exercise spoons."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coprotae cultures, #strategic allance, #issues, #beta code, #internet, #empowerment, #press release, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of an overhead projector discussing "Strategic Alliance Issues." Dilbert says, "Issue one: Our two companies have very different corporate cultures." A man with a goatee sits at the conference table working on a laptop. A woman with spiked hair sits next to him. The man says, "While you were droning I slammed out some beta code and put it on the Internet for comments." Dilbert says, "My company prefers to have that kind of decision made by uninformed executives. We call it 'empowerment.'" The man replies, "I'll mention that in the press release."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #corporate trainer, #grim downsizer, #stress reduction, #budget cuts, #class evaluation forms

View Transcript

Transcript

The Grim Reaper approaches Ratbert and says, "Pssst!" The Grim Reaper says, "I'm the Grim Downsizer. Trainers are the first to go. I'll just hang around here until the next budget cuts." Ratbert looks scared. The Angel of Death asks, "Do you mind if I sit in on your stress-reduction class?" Ratbert says, "I don't think I'll read the class evaluation forms from this one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #corporate trainer, #class, #sharing segment, #grim downsizer

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert stands on a chair and says, "Let's go around the room and say who we are and what we hope to get out of the class." The Grim Reaper, Wally, a man and a woman sit at a conference table. The Grim Reaper says, "I'm the Grim Downsizer. I'm here to decruit the entire training department plus all of the people who have time to attend classes." Wally says, "My name is Dilbert. I'm here in place of Wally who is working hard to build a better tomorrow." The man next to Wally says, "I'm somebody else too." The Grim Reaper says, "Nice try."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #corporate emperor, #downsizing, #sounds negative, #wedgiesizing, #clean desk and shoo

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands opn top of a filing cabinet wearing his crown and holding his scepter. An employee looks up at Dogbert who says, "I don't like to call what I'm doing 'downsizing.' It sounds too negative. Bob the Dinosaur gives the employee a wedgie with a firm "Yank!" Dogbert says, "I like to call it 'wedgiesizing.' Now clean out your desk and shoo!" Bob says, "He didn't take that very well." Dogbert sits on the edge of the cabinet and says, "You can't please everyone, Bob."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #Wally, #alice, #communication, #management, #office culture

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss tells Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "What we need is more communication between management and . . . Whatever you are." The Boss continues, "So, once a month I'll have 'open door day.'" The Boss explains, "You can drop by and whine about anything you want." The Boss continues, "I'll listen with a concerned expression like this." The Boss continues, "Then I'll explain why everything is fine just the way it is." The Boss continues, "Then, morale will improve, profits will skyrocket and my stock options will make me RICH!! Dilbert says, "May I make some observations about your plan?" Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Forget it." The Boss asks, "Do you notice how concerned I look?"