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109 Results for Created By Aliens

View 91 - 100 results for created by aliens comic strips. Discover the best "Created By Aliens" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags manager, work, results, observation, thinking, strategy, proof, evidence

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Wally: I did a huge amount of work this week. I created a matrix that compares all of our technology options. Boss: Can I see this alleged matrix? Wally: It's in my head. I didn't see a need to write it down. Boss: How would I know if you did it right? Wally: You're not an engineer, so you wouldn't know it was right even if you saw it. You tell me to "work smarter" but you get angry when I do. Boss: You're not allowed to do your work in your head! Wally: Which body part do you use?

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Faking Their Own Deaths

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Faking Their Own Deaths - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, distraction, subversion, alias, espionage, hiding, productivity

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Dilbert: My job as the team scrum for our agile methodology is to remove distractions so you can work. I've created fake identities for each of us, and I'll be spreading the rumor that we all died. Carol: I heard they all died. Boss: Nice try. I will find them!

Virtual Vr And Jail Program

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Virtual Vr And Jail Program - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags virtual reality, cubicle, office, torture

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Dilbert: As you requested, I wrote a VR program that makes users feel as if they are in cubicles. I put only your name on the credits because I expect an angry mob to kill whoever created it. I also wrote a VR jail program in case you want to be in protective custody. Boss: I might need that.

Fake Email From The Ceo

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Fake Email From The Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags virus, infection, malware, technology, typo, literacy

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Dilbert: I can't delete the Elbonian virus in our network. It keeps replicating. Holy carp! It created a fake email full of typos and bad ideas and sent it out from our CEO's account! Wait, no. That's actually from our CEO. Wally: Maybe the virus can fix him.

Crypto Key

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Crypto Key - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo, Wally, cryptocurrency, wallet, disappeared, private, key

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CEO: I put five thousand dollars into the cryptocurrency wallet you created for me and it disappeared! You're the only other person who knew my password and private key. Wally: That's not true. I shared them with Dilbert to create reasonable doubt.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, engineering, frustration, managers & supervisors, office workers, work, schedule

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Dilbert: I finished coding the new feature. Boss: What took you so long? Dilbert: It took as long as it needed to take. Boss: You're behind schedule. Dilbert: I'm not the one who created the schedule! That was you!!! Maybe you should fire yourself for being so bad at making schedules. Boss: That's not how it works! Dilbert: What does that even mean? Boss: They're starting to catch on that most of what I say doesn't mean anything.

Being More Nimble

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Being More Nimble - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, decision, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm

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Boss: We need to be more innovative and more nimble. That's why I created a task force to consider forming a project team to write a white paper on how to start. Dilbert: Maybe they can fix you first. Boss: You can't fix perfect.

Contacting The Alien Probe

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Contacting The Alien Probe - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags aliens, communication, earth, space, technology

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Dilbert: We're ready to fire up our laser communication technology to contact the alien probe heading to Earth. Boss: Is the alien probe unmanned? Dilbert: It is now.

Doomed Humanity To Annihilation

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Doomed Humanity To Annihilation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags aliens, attack, boss, communication, managers & supervisors, mistake, office workers, technology, laser, nasa

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Boss: The laser communication prototype you built for NASA accidentally vaporized the alien ship heading our way. If it got off a message to its home planet, your stupidity has doomed humanity to annihilation. Also, you didn't complete your mandatory training in chair safety.

Ai Too Stupid To Be Dangerous

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Ai Too Stupid To Be Dangerous - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, inventions, robot, technology, Lottery, humans, smart

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Wally: Are you worried that the A.I. you created will take over the world? Dilbert: No, I modeled it after human intelligence so it won't be smart enough. Robot: Buwhahahahaha! I will buy lottery tickets and use my winnings to take over the world! Asok: Good luck.