Entire Budget Comic Strips - Page 10
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462 Results for Entire Budget
View 91 - 100 results for entire budget comic strips. Discover the best "Entire Budget" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday April 10,
1999
Tags #ease of use, #lab, #budget for staff, #two sided, #photocopies, #live by sword, #die by sword
Transcript
The boss, wally and Asok sit at the conference table with papers in front of them. The boss says, "I downsised the "ease of use" lab because there's no budget for a staff." Asok grabs one of the paper and shows it the the boss. ASok says, "They HAVE a buget. I put it on the back of these two-sided photocopies!" The boss says, "Well, they lived by the sword, and they died by the sword."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday April 27,
1999
Tags #budget numbers, #totally inaccurate, #only numbers, #infinite inaccurate numbers, #encrypt them
Transcript
The boss stick his head into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Do you have those budget numbers from last months?" Dilbert says, "They're totally innaccurate." The boss says, "I know but those are the only numbers we have." Dilbert says, "Actually we have infinite inaccurate numbers to choose from." The boss says, "Let's keep those in our back pocket in case we need them." Dilbert says, "I'll encrypt them so no one else can use them."
Monday September 06,
1999
Tags #budget system, #under utilized mainframe, #obsoltete, #reality versus management
Transcript
The boss says, to Dilbert, "Move our budget system onto the under-utilized mainframe." Dilbert says, "It's under-utilized because it's obsolete." Dilbert thinks, "Reality versus mangement; who shall be the victor?"
Monday October 11,
1999
Tags #twenty percent over budget, #two months late, #bungledm, #allocation resources, #bungled
Transcript
The Boss reads a report, and says to Dilbert, "Your project is twenty percent over budget and two months late." Dilbert says, "That's because you bungled the allocation of resources." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Bosses hate the word 'bungled'."
Tuesday October 19,
1999
Tags #reduce budget, #project is vital, #eliminate, #funny part
Transcript
The Boss says to Alice, who is seated in her cubicle, "Every department was asked how it could reduce its budget by ten percent." The Boss says, "Your project is vital to the future of the company, so I cleverly offered to eliminate it, knowing they couldn't accept." The Boss says, "Now this is the funny part..."
Sunday July 19,
1998
Tags #goal to motivate, #build global satellite netwrok, #feel sdifferent, #Right, #energetic feeling, #pinned, #burning couch, #dizzy, #budget cuts
Transcript
The Boss and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss hands Dilbert a piece of paper and says, "This is the goal that will motivate you for the next year." Dilbert reads from the piece of paper: "'Build a global satellite network. Budget: $12,000.'" Dilbert looks at the Boss and says, "Motivation feels much different from what I imagined." Dilbert continues, "I was expecting a light, energetic feeling." Dilbert continues speaking and illustrates with his hands, "But it's more like being pinned under a burning couch." Dilbert puts his hand to his head and says, "Whoo, I'm getting dizzy." Dilbert stands up slowly and says, "I'd better lie down until the motivation wears off." The Boss leaves the room with Dilbert lying on the table. The Boss says, "He's going to be trouble during the next round of budget cuts."
Friday June 02,
2000
Tags #every person, #on earth, #one person, #the entire world, #tibetan monks, #ugly website
Transcript
The Boss says to Ming, "Ming, everyone says our website is ugly." Ming replies, "Really? Every person on earth said that? Even Tibetan monks?" The Boss meekly answers, "Maybe it was just one person." Ming asked, "And you confused him with the entire planet?"
Tuesday August 15,
2000
Tags #disaster recovery plan, #help! help!, #hope to have budget
Transcript
Alice says, "Our disaster recovery plan goes something like this..." Alice points to a picture of a man screaming "Help! Help!" Alice continues, "Someday we hope to have a budget."
Wednesday September 27,
2000
Tags #forty million dollars, #needs approval, #over budget, #whose side?
Transcript
Dilbert holds out a slip of paper to his Boss and says, "This needs your approval." The Boss looks at the piece of paper and Dilbert continues, "The company will save forty million dollars but you'll be ten thousand over budget." Dilbert says, "And before you ask, no it won't work the other way around." The Boss says, "Whose side are you on?"
Thursday September 28,
2000
Tags #show plan, #budget, #resources, #weakness
Transcript
The Boss sits at his desk and Dilbert says, "I'm sure your boss will increase the budget if you show him my plan." The Boss throws up his arms and says, "I just asked him for something else. I can't keep asking him for resources!" Dilbert asks, "So...you think that doing your job is a sign of weakness?" The Boss points at Dilbert and says, "Look what it did to you."