Every Week Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

868 Results for Every Week

View 91 - 100 results for every week comic strips. Discover the best "Every Week" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #cell phone, #every two minutes, #flushable, #owner wonders where, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice is sitting in her cubicle. On the other side of the wall, a cell phone makes the noises, "Beep-beep-a-beep-beep-a-beep." Alice thinks, "Every two minutes." Alice looks into the next cubicle and and clenches her teeth at the cell phone lying there. A coworker approaches Alice and asks, "Have you seen my cell phone?" Alice responds, "Was it metallic, noisy and flushable?"

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #price quote, #every expense, #alice side agreement, #hidden costs, #customer punch vendor, #freaking weasel

View Transcript

Transcript

"As you requested, this price quote includes absolutely every expense you'll incur!" "If that's true, you won't mind signing the 'Alice Side Agreement." "'In the event of hidden costs, customer will repeatedly punch vendor while telling 'you freaking weasel!'" "Pen?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #80 hour week, #crazy talk, #less work, #loofah, #evil director, #human resources, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Alice: Im working 80 hours a week. I barely have time to bathe. Catbert: try using your tongue during meetings, Its like a bath and a loofah all in one. Alice: Or I could do less work. Catbert: Thats crazy talk.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mordac, #preventer of information services, #exceeded disk sapce, #one week, #no email, #engineer, #survive, #modem taped ankle, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac, arms spread in exclamation, says to a seated Dilbert, "I am Mordac, the preventer of information services!!" Mordac points at Dilbert and says, "You have exceeded your allocation of disk space on the server!" Mordac says, "I sentence you to one week without e-mail." Dilbert says, "No problem." Mordac says, "No problem? How can an engineer survive without e-mail?" Mordac points to the wall and says, "UP AGAINST THE WALL!!" Mordac frisks Dilbert and says, "WHERE IS IT? Dilbert says to Dogbert, "He found the modem taped to my ankle but he missed my wireless pen modem." loremipsum

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #three week vacation, #leaving tomorrow, #vacation, #twice as good

View Transcript

Transcript

I'm back from my three-week vacation. "I didn't know you were gone." "Um...I meant I'm leaving tomorrow for my three-week vacation." "How was your vacation?" "Twice as good as I expected!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Carol, you showed up for work almost every day this week. Here are some 'morale dollars'." "It's not real money, but you can redeem it for gifts and services that you don't want or need." "I also entered you into a raffle that you didn't win." HONK!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #emails, #high priority, #entire week, #working, #feeding squirrel, #east entrance

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: All of your e-mails this week were marked as highest priority. "So I spent the entire week working on the first one." "Next week I plan to continue not feeding the squirrels by the east entrance."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #interviews, #career goals, #80 hours a week, #below - market, #compensation

View Transcript

Transcript

Job interview Interviewee: But enough about me. How can I help you achieve your career goals? Boss: You could work 80 hours a week for below-market compensation. Interviewee: I did not see that coming. Boss: Good. I need employees who can't see it coming. You're hired.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #irony, #managers & supervisors, #interface, #finished, #started, #micromanagement, #bad reputation, #optimistic, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't wait to see the changes I asked you to make on the interface. Our last meeting was two months ago. You must be finished by now. Coworker: I haven't started yet. I had a few questions. I figured I'd ask you about them the next time we talked. In the meantime I only did work for people who yelled at me every day. Micromanagement has a bad reputation, but I'm not too proud to say I need it. Dilbert: Okay... well, I'm optimistic that you can make those changes for me by next week. Coworker: I probably should have asked my questions.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #office workers, #meaningful work, #gone for a week, #labor camp

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I got kicked out of a North Elbonian labor camp for working too hard. It was the first time I had ever experienced meaningful work and I got carried away. Boss: And your name is...? Dilbert: Seriously? I was gone for one week!