Evil Company Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Evil Company

View 91 - 100 results for evil company comic strips. Discover the best "Evil Company" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #evil, #good, #Dogs, #animal behavior, #cats, #stupid, #people, #logic, #predicts, #theory, #existential crisis

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Dilbert walk through the park. Dilbert asks, "Do you think people are basically good or evil?" Dogbert replies, "Well, I know dogs are basically good." Dogbert continues, "And dogs are better than people." Dogbert continues, "But people are better than cats." They sit down under a tree. Dogbert continues, "And cats are evil . . ." Dogbert continues, "Therefore, all people are stupid." Dilbert says, "I don't follow that logic." Dogbert says, "Yes, my theory predicts you would say that."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #alice, #the boss, #good, #bad, #news, #companies, #compete, #small, #nimble, #rate, #smallest, #company

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I've got good news and bad news." The Boss continues, "The bad news is that huge companies like us can't compete against small, nimble companies. The good news is that at this rate WE'LL be the smallest company around." Dilbert, Alice and Ted shout, "We're number one! Yes!!" The Boss thinks, "What am I doing wrong here?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 1996's comic on:


Tags #manager ted, #planned better, #pushed down stairs, #soul left body, #evil entity, #performance reviews

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss pokes his head into Ted's office and asks, "How do you like being a manager, Ted?" Ted replies, "Yesterday my staff pushed me down ten flights of stairs. My soul left my body and now I'm a lifeless evil entity." The Boss says, "Just in time to do performance reviews!" Ted responds, "I couldn't have planned it better."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 1996's comic on:


Tags #new boss is posessed, #evil force, #one solution, #drive stake, #heart, #be cruel, #borrow pen, #wimpy retractable

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Alice approach Dogbert who is sitting on a desk. Dilbert says, "My new boss is possessed by an evil force. We need your advice, Dogbert." Dogbert responds, "There is only one solution. You must drive a stake through his heart." Dilbert says, "There's no way we could be so cruel!!" Alice holds up a pen and says, "Can I borrow your pen? All I have is this wimpy retractable."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 1996's comic on:


Tags #billionaire, #charity work, #contribution, #fine arts, #software company

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert stands on the armrest. Dogbert says, "After I become a billionaire from my software company I'll do a little dance." Dogbert dances on the armrest and sings, "I'm so rich / It's me you hail / If I'm obnoxious / Kiss my tail." Dilbert asks, "Do you plan to do any charity work?" Dogbert replies, "Let me put it this way - you just saw my contribution to the fine arts."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 1996's comic on:


Tags #revised standard employment agreement, #only company, #pudding head, #attitude, #lawyes, #rabies, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss hands Dilbert a document and says, "Here's the revised standard employment agreement. Sign it or be fired." Dilbert reads, "This agreement is between the Company (hereafter referred to as 'The Only Company That Would Ever Hire You') and you (hereafter called 'Pudding Head')." Dilbert says, "It seems to have a bit of attitude." The Boss responds, "Our lawyers turned on us. I suspect rabies."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 1996's comic on:


Tags #agreement, #grant, #sign, #strategic omissions, #waiver, #proofread, #company, #forcing to sign, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the couch with his knees bent. He hands a document to Dogbert and says, "Look at the agreement my company is forcing us to sign. They claim the rights to any idea an employee ever has." Dilbert looks at the document and says, "No problem. Just retype it with a few strategic omissions and sign it. They can't proofread every one." Dilbert asks, "Wouldn't that be dishonest?" Dogbert replies, "Maybe you could just show them some of your ideas and they'd grant a waiver."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 1996's comic on:


Tags #product idea, #quit, #start business, #run new company, #cucbilces, #immoral, #people already in hell

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Wally, "If this company won't use our product idea let's quit and start our own business!" Wally responds, "Why quit? We can run our new company from our cubicles and get paid too." Dilbert asks, "Wouldn't that be immoral?" Wally says, "That's only an issue for people who aren't already in hell."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 1996's comic on:


Tags #cafeteria, #Catbert, #human resources, #labeling entrees, #life threatening, #red lump, #health care, #evil director, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Catbert, the evil Director of Human Resources." Catbert, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Catbert says, "We're moving to 'cafeteria style' benefits." Catbert continues, "Under this system, if you need health care, you wander through the cafeteria asking 'Does anybody know what this red lump is?'" Alice asks, "What if it's a life-threatening problem?" Catbert replies, "That reminds me, the cafeteria won't be labeling the entrees anymore."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 1996's comic on:


Tags #after merger, #reduce staff, #redundant, #employees, #evaluated, #buying company, #bald guy, #steal office furniture, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, Wally, Dilbert and a man from the buying company sit at a conference table. The man says, "After the merger, we'll reduce staff in areas that are redundant." Wally says, "I hope the employees of this company will be evaluated fairly compared to those in the buying company." The man says, "We already have a bald guy." Dilbert asks, "Does your steal office furniture, too?"