Family Friendly Policy Comic Strips - Page 10

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275 Results for Family Friendly Policy

View 91 - 100 results for family friendly policy comic strips. Discover the best "Family Friendly Policy" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 1999's comic on:


Tags #totally correct, #time under budget, #give up features, #shoebox falloff yarn, #yarn is free, #open door policy, #serious threat, #new design

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Dilbert pokes his head into the boss's office and says: "You were totally correct." Dilbert says to the boss: "We can develop the product on time and under budget." Dilbert says to the boss: "All we have to do is give up some features." Dilbert says to the boss: "For example, the original design called for a scalable wide area network switch..." Dilbert says to the boss while extending his arms: "...with multiprotocol support and full network diagnostics." Dilbert shows a sheet of paper to the boss and says: "The new design calls for a shoebox full of yarn." The boss is looking at the sheet of paper while Dilbert says to him: "So we're in good shape...assuming yarn is free." The boss says to Dilbert: "You're a serious threat to my open door policy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2012's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #bullying co workers, #friendly suggestions, #looks like bullying, #schedule time, #waste time

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Catbert: I got a report that you've been bullying co-workers. Dilbert: That's dumb. I make friendly suggestions about how people could waste less of my time and it looks like bullying. Catbert: Let's schedule a time to talk more about this. Dilbert: Or-- just a friendly suggestion-- you could not waste my freakin' time.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2013's comic on:


Tags #discussion, #frustration, #deliverable deadline, #proactive, #opposite of proactive, #empowered employees, #bad morale, #big bungler, #open door policy

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Wally: I decided to be proactive and push back my deliverable deadline by a year. Boss: That' snot being proactive. That's the opposite of proactive! Wally: You said you want employees to be empowered and now you're criticizing my decision. That's just great. Now my morale is bad, too! I can't be proactive. I can't be empowered. And now I can't even be happy! You've bungled everything! You're a big bungler! Boss: Get out of my office. Wally: Well, say goodbye to the open-door policy!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2013's comic on:


Tags #best policy, #lying, #powerless, #superpower, #truth, #honesty is best policy

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Dogbert: Honesty is the best policy... whenever you think lying won't work. Otherwise, lying is awesome. It's like a freakin' superpower! Ratbert: Why am I here? Dogbert: I speak truth to the powerless.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2008's comic on:


Tags #approval policy, #coffee supplies, #disobedience, #fire, #hatred, #new informational services, #effigies

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Man: I realize you don't like the new information services approval policy. But I would appreciate it if you didn't build effigies of me out of coffee supplies." "Seriously. It's creeping me out." Alice: Heh heh heh!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2008's comic on:


Tags #borrow pen, #company like family, #culture, #search computer, #sign docuemnt, #test for dugs, #trust and respect, #manipulate

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CatBert: This company is like a family. Our culture is based on trust and respect. Now sign this document that says we can test you for drugs and search your computer and your office. Man: Can I borrow your pen? Catbert: Do I look like Bill and Melinda Gates?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2008's comic on:


Tags #bragging, #rudeness, #selfishness, #stories, #goat cistume, #donated organs, #hollow torso, #backpack, #zipper, #family of squirrels

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Topper Returns Dilbert says, "I dreamed I was wearing a goat costume." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I donated all of my organs to sick people. Now I use my hollow torso like a backpack." "Dilbert says, "And I tried to go on a date." Topper says, "See my zipper? I took in a family of squirrels!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2010's comic on:


Tags #open door policy, #office, #look over shoulder, #suspicious, #core systems, #key processes, #pointless question, #act randomly

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Wally says, "What's more important- our core systems or our key processes?" Wally says, "If there's no clear answer to that question, I'll continue to act randomly." The Boss says, "Get out of my office." Wally says, "The open door policy probably looked good on paper."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2009's comic on:


Tags #interview, #hiring, #policy, #cruelty

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the boss says, "You're hired, but company policy requires me to post the job opening internally before it's official." Man says, "Are you saying your company policy requires you to lie to employees and give them false hope?" The boss says, "Exactly." Man says,. "That's cruel." The boss says, "In six months you'll wish you had some false hope too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2009's comic on:


Tags #interview, #asking, #Family, #large, #leaving, #trouble, #busy, #annoyed

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the boss says, "Do you have any relatives?" Man says, "Yes, I have a huge family." The boss says, "In any given week, how many of them are dying, graduating, going to jail, or getting married?" Man says, "Maybe?six." The Boss says, "When would you have time to work?" Man says, "I have to go. Someone fell out of a tree."