Feral Employee Comic Strips - Page 10

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View 91 - 100 results for feral employee comic strips. Discover the best "Feral Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #softening up, #employee satisfaction survey, #fire them, #purring

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Catbert: The employee satisfaction survey says they don't trust management. "Don't worry. I'll find out who feels that way and fire them during the next retrenchment." "Purr? Who said purr?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ex employee, #named ted, #company policy, #weather, #moving lazily

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"Hi. I'm calling to check the references of your ex-employee named Ted." "We have a company policy against giving references. But I'd be happy to discuss the weather with you." "Okay." "The clouds are moving lazily across the sky, and everyone thinks they're stupid."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pet employee, #all projects, #cutting edge technology, #hawaii

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"Don't worry that I might give all the good projects to my pet employee." "Petricia, I'd like you to evaluate cutting-edge technologies in Hawaii." "Now, who's left to wax my back?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #human rescources, #disgruntled, #bad management, #commute, #rationalizer, #employee, #commute is easy

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Ed, you seem disgruntled." "You need 30 minutes in the Employee Rationalizer." "I...I...don't mind bad management because...the commute is easy." "Better."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee of the month, #award, #don't know my job, #never listen, #boss

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"The employee of the month is Tina, for all of the um...various work that she does." "You have stripped this award of its meaning by showing that you don't even know what my job is." "It's as if you've never listened to anything I've ever said." "You're welcome!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trigger automatic promotion, #be that employee, #part of team, #not special

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I need to have one more direct report and it will trigger an automatic promotion for me. "Your job is to be that employee." "How's it feel to be part of the team?" "Not as special as I'd hoped."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the contractor, #dream, #regular employee, #eat candy, #poop emeralds

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The Contractor "My dream is to one day become a regular employee." "My dream is to eat candy and poop emeralds." "The difference is that I'm halfway successful."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee orientation, #no time, #exercise, #long hours, #trans fat, #positive note, #payroll dedcution, #service, #save money, #dirt, #cubicle, #burial site, #health

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Employee Orientation Catbert: "This job will leave you with no time for exercise." "You will work long hours and consume trans fats until you are shaped like this." "On a positive note, our payroll deduction service allows you to save money for dirt to turn your cubicle into a burial site."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sing or dance, #resigned, #huge resignation, #manifesto, #video clips, #humorous sound files, #website, #broadway theater prodcution, #first motivated employee, #technology

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Ted approaches Dilbert, "Can you sing or dance?" Dilbert turns to face Ted, "Ted? I thought you resigned in disgust two weeks ago." Ted replies, "Well...I wrote a huge resignation manifesto that I planned to e-mail to the entire company." With hands raised Ted says, "But I thought it needed pictures." With arms now raised to the side Ted says, "Before long I was adding video clips and humorous sound files." Exasperated Ted states, "Then I thought, hey, why not put it all on a website?" More calmed and reserved, Ted says "Now I'm turning the whole thing into an off Broadway theatre production." Arriving home after work, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I saw my first motivated employee today."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #25 each, #cheap hot dogs, #cover charge, #employee appreciation day, #evil director, #harder to appreciate, #pocket money

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert: Employee Appreciation Day is next Tuesday. The cover charge is $25 apiece. wally: How do we know you won't buy cheap hot dogs and pocket the rest of our money? Catbert: Every day it gets harder to appreciate you." gulp gulp gulp