Fire Anyone Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

423 Results for Fire Anyone

View 91 - 100 results for fire anyone comic strips. Discover the best "Fire Anyone" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #prejudice, #universities & colleges, #updating employee profiles, #school. indian institute of technology, #double major, #engineering, #false humility, #combined thesis, #terraformed planet

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol says, "Hey, Asok. I'm updating our employee profiles. Where'd you go to school?" Asok says, "I graduated from the Indian Institute of Technology in Lucknow with a double major in engineering and physics, and a minor in false humility." Asok says, "For my combined thesis I terraformed a planet in another dimension and didn't tell anyone." Carol says, "I'll put 'Indian.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #work ethic, #worry, #indispensible, #fired, #useless, #riskier, #toe clip, #20 years of service

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Wally, should I try to become indispensable so I won't be fired? Wally: No. Indispensable people end up working too hard because they can't risk showing anyone else how to do what they do. Asok: Being useless seems riskier. Wally: Have you seen the tie clip I got for 20 years of service?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #questioning, #best plan, #ignorant nusinace, #meeting, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This is the best plan in the world, and anyone who disagrees is an ignorant nuisance. Now I'll open it up for comments. Anyone? Anyone? Wally: I'd like to thank you for shortening this meeting.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #commerce, #service business, #unmotivated sales guy, #slides are blank, #compelling reason, #no commission work, #budget issues

View Transcript

Transcript

Unmotivated sales guy Man: My slides are blank because no one told me what our product does. And I don't have a compelling reason to find out because I don't work on commission. If anyone asks why you didn't place an order, would you mind saying you have budget issues?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #annoyance, #online class, #improve charisma, #stupid fake charisma, #weird

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Don't let anyone disturb me. I'll be taking an online class to improve my charisma. Carol: While you're doing that, I'll be taking an online class to learn how to ignore your stupid, fake charisma. BRING IT ON! Boss: Okay, this got weird.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excitement, #gloating, #awesome bob, #dry cleaner, #flying wing suit

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm excited because I have a meeting in a few minutes with Awesome Bob. Everything he does is just a little bit more awesome than what anyone else does. Carol: He's running late because the dry cleaner couldn't get the sushi stains out of his flying wingsuit. Boss: AWESOME!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consolidating, #marketing, #illusion, #golf, #ceo, #money, #shared services, #Sports, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're consolidating our marketing into a shared services model. Asok: Why? Boss: Change creates the illusion that we have a strategy while giving our CEO an excuse to fire a VP who beat him at golf. And blah, blah, something about money. Asok: Must... not... cry... on the outside.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #barry, #meeting, #meetings, #sharing info, #vendors, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Let's hear what Barry learned from our vendors and go from there. Coworker: I didn't have time to call anyone, but I can speculate about what might have happened if I had. Dilbert: I'm curious to see how this will work out for you. Coworker: None of these vendors would have called me back.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fraudulent analysis, #total betrayal, #shareholders, #rational beghavior

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I finished the fraudulent analysis you requested to support the decision you already made. It's a total betrayal of shareholders and a slap in the face for anyone who values rational behavior. Boss: Thanks. That's exactly what I wanted. Dilbert: You're welcome.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dog, #doghouse, #pet, #pet peeve, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert crouches in front of the fireplace stoking the fire. Dogbert says, "You know what really gripes my wagger?!" Dogbert continues, "Insensitive humans who say things like 'she's a real dog' or 'he's in the dog house' or 'it's a dog's life.'" Dilbert replies, "Sounds like a pet peeve."