Give Up Features Comic Strips - Page 10

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687 Results for Give Up Features

View 91 - 100 results for give up features comic strips. Discover the best "Give Up Features" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #devil, #lettuce, #kitchen, #rationalization

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Dilbert stands in the kitchen looking at a grocery receipt and thinking, "Looks like they under-charged me twelve cents on the lettuce." Dilbert thinks, "I should go back and give them the twelve cents. But I'm sure they would tell me to keep it for being so honest." Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light and the Ruler of Heck, shows up at the door and says to Dogbert, ". . . I have a report of a flimsy rationalization in progress." Dogbert says, "Try the kitchen."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #lunch money, #data, #diskettes, #school, #bully, #aging

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A large man enters Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Yo, Dilbert, give me your lunch money or I'll erase your data diskettes." Dilbert replies, "Touch my data and I'll erase any mention of you from the main payroll computer." Beads of sweat flies from the man's head and he says, "No . . . Please, I'm sorry." Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "Nothing is more pathetic than an aging school bully." The man says, "I took shop; I can make you some nice bookends."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #sneeze, #hand, #mouth

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Dogbert runs toward Dilbert yelling, "Quick, quick! Give me your hand!!!" Dogbert sneezes violently. Dilbert looks at his hand as Dogbert says, "Thanks . . . I always put a hand over my mouth when I sneeze."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #hand, #cleaning, #paws, #lawyer, #charming, #insult, #help, #animals

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Dilbert holds a can of furniture polish and a polishing cloth. Dogbert says, "Doing a little cleaning? Let me give you a hand . . ." Dogbert looks at his paws and says, "Wait . . . I can't lend a hand; all I have are these little paws." Dilbert says, "You'd make a good lawyer." Dogbert says as he walks away, "Charming . . . I offer to help and he insults me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 1990's comic on:


Tags #grumpy dog, #no flattery, #chocolate cake, #feel better, #scratch behind ears, #leg spasms

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm grumpy today, so don't even try to talk to me." Dogbert continues, "And don't try to flatter me or give me chocolate cake to make me feel better." Dilbert says, "And I guess I shouldn't scratch you behind the ears until you have little leg spasms." Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs and says, "Right. None of that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 1990's comic on:


Tags #doctor, #Dilbert, #sale, #price, #discount, #cash, #ten, #days

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Dilbert sits on an examining table in a doctor's office. The doctor says, "Normally I'd give you six months to live." The physician continues, "But we're having a '50% off sale' today, so I'll give you a full year for the same price." Dilbert lies back on the table. The doctor says, "And you get an extra ten days if you pay cash!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #brainella, #smart, #intimidated, #dated, #woman, #outfit, #best

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Dilbert and a woman with a huge head sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Gosh, Brainella, I've never dated a woman as smart as you before . . ." Dilbert says, "Let's just start right in talking about all kinds of smart stuff. C'mon, give me your best shot. I'm not intimidated." Brainella replies, "Not here. If your brain explodes, it'll ruin my outfit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #994, #ten thousand, #Lottery, #winners, #bug, #me

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A man stands at the counter in "Burger Queen." The sign over the counter advertises a "99 cent special." The man says to the person behind the cash register, "Only 99 cents?!! Ha ha ha!! Give me ten thousand of them! For HERE!!" Dogbert stands behind the man thinking, "These lottery winners are really starting to bug me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 1990's comic on:


Tags #shirt, #head, #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #Family, #portrait, #torso

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Dilbert, who has no head, walks up to Dogbert and asks, "Dogbert, could you give me a hand?" Dogbert says, "Paw." Dilbert points to his missing head and explains, "I pulled a loose thread on my shirt and my head got sucked into my torso." Dilbert asks, "What should we do?" Dogbert replies, "This might be a good time for a family portrait."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #mesozoic era, #giant, #plastic, #bone, #fake, #vomit, #wrap, #toss, #tar, #pit

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Dogbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "You know, Bob, I always pictured you dinosaurs as . . . Uh . . . Much bigger." Bob replies, "Ah, well, you see, practical jokes were very popular in the Mesozoic era . . ." A dinosaur says to a clerk in a novelty store, "Ooh-ooh! Give me the giant plastic bone and one fake vomit!" The salesclerk asks, "Shall I wrap them or just toss them in the tar pits?"