Help Destroy Planet Comic Strips - Page 10

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513 Results for Help Destroy Planet

View 91 - 100 results for help destroy planet comic strips. Discover the best "Help Destroy Planet" comics from Dilbert.com.

Help Me With Something

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Help Me With Something - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, compensation, system, incentive, budget, limit, smart, business

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male office worker: can you help me with something? dilbert: no, our employee compensation system incentivizes me to let you fail so i can lay claim to a larger share of our limited budget for raises. maybe you could ask someone who is less aware. office worker: none of them are smart enough to help.

Wally Will Be Right Back

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Wally Will Be Right Back - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, minute, desk, help, mystery

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tina: do you have a minute to help me? wally: absolutely. i'll be right back after i drop off something at my desk. tina: i'll never see you again, will i? wally: don't take the mystery out of it.

Wally The Generalist

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Wally The Generalist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, sarcasm, technology, generalist, subject, matter, expert, help

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Tina: wally, can you help me on this? wally: no, i'm more of a generalist than a subject matter expert. tina: what kind of work do generalists do? wally: you just saw it.

Wally Will Look Into It

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Wally Will Look Into It   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, help, forget, note, procrastination, sarcasm, surprise

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tina: ...so, maybe you can help? wally: i'll look into it. tina: perhaps you could write yourself a little note so you don't forget. wally: nah. tina: should i abandon all hope now or wait? wally: depends how much you like surprises.

Protestors Destroy Our Stores

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Protestors Destroy Our Stores - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags protest movements, protestors, retail, stores, destroy, hate, cause, donate, context

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dilbert: all of our retail locations were destroyed by protesters last night. why do they hate us? dilbert: they don't hate us. we donate to their cause. dilbert: am i missing some context? boss: you should see what they do to the people they don't like.

Dogbert The Bitcoin Billionaire

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Dogbert The Bitcoin Billionaire - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, pandemic, billionaire, covert, plan, rule, planet, progress, sarcasm

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dilbert: this pandemic has been hard for all of us. dogbert: not me. i became a bitcoin billionaire and made progress on my covert plan of ruling over the planet. dilbert: why am i just hearing this? dogbert: because i'm good at it.

General Incompetence

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General Incompetence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, project, success, expectations, destroy, incompetent, sarcasm

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dilbert: in summary, my project was successful beyond all expectations. Colleague: my relative lack of success this year makes me hate you and want to destroy you. dilbert: what's stopping you? colleague: general incompetence. same thing that killed all of my projects.

Tina Asks For Help

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Tina Asks For Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, co-workers, colleague, draft, review, busy, yes, time, sarcastic, sarcasm, suspicious, answer, innocent

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tina: do you have a few minutes to review my first draft? dilbert: yes. tina: i ask because usually you say you're to busy to help. dilbert: well, i said yes this time. tina: that's funny, because usually you're all, "i'm so busy." but today you have all the time in the world. dilbert: today i'm not busy. tina: i find that suspicious. dilbert yelling: take yes for an answer!!! tina: that's not how innocent people talk.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, questioning, suspicion, schedule meetings, excuse, do nothing, disbelief, scheduling meetings, business

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Dilbert: Do you mind if I ask Carol to help me schedule these meetings? Boss: Ooh... that's no good. She'd use it as an excuse to do absolutely nothing else for a week. Dilbert: Is it okay if I just stare at you in disbelief? Boss: Shouldn't you be scheduling some meetings?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anxiety, confused, emails accounts, internet & world wide web, might snap, pin code, too many passwords, user names, chaos, crazy, lose it, mental, breakdown, overload, technological, psychology

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Dogbert's password recovery service. Ted: I have so many passwords and email accounts and user names that I don't know what goes to what. I'm lost. If you can't help me I think I might snap. Dogbert: No problem. What's your password recovery PIN code? Noise: SNAP!