Insignificant Advice Comic Strips - Page 10

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194 Results for Insignificant Advice

View 91 - 100 results for insignificant advice comic strips. Discover the best "Insignificant Advice" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #book, #choose good attitude, #six months to live, #depressed, #bad advice, #apathetic

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The Boss stops a sad employee and says, "Hey, guy, cheer up. You can choose to have a good attitude!" The sad employee replies, "I just found out I have six months to live." The Boss smiles and hands the employee a book. The Boss says, "Maybe I'm saying it wrong. Try reading the book yourself."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #poisoned, #bad user interface design, #crowd out ugly, #staggering beauty, #drink in, #garbageman advice

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Headline: In Elbonia. Dilbert says to an Elbonian, "Excuse me. My boss is cheap; can you direct me to a bad hotel?" The Elbonian responds, "I recommend the Bubonic Inn. It is so bad they will pay you to stay there." The man behind the hotel counter looks like a skeleton and has a rat on his head. The man says, "What kind of fleas do you want in your mattress?" Dilbert replies, "Lazy ones."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fist of death, #foot of death, #doctor, #exam room, #dont use, #Advice, #health, #carpal syndrome, #medical

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Doctor: You've got a bad case of carpal punchel syndrome. Doctor: Don't use your "fist of death" for a few weeks. Alice: GAAA!!! Wally: the "Foot of death" is not the same. Asok: It is only slightly menacing.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #send threatening emails, #train new guy, #easily downsize later, #boss threatens alice, #job security, #male, #female, #training, #alices bad advice

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The Boss: "Alice, I want you to train Ned to do everything you do." "Don't worry that it will make you redundant more easily downsizeable." Alice: "I like to start each day by sending threatening e-mail to the board of directors."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dr. dogbert show, #plastic surgery addicts, #dinosaur, #shut up freak

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doctor dogcart show dogbert: My next guest cis addicted yo plastic surgery. Ive always liked the whole dinosaur look, so I just went for it. do you have some plainspoken advice for me Shut up , freak

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clarification, #assignment, #jeudgement, #invite calamity, #good parts, #forever damned

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Dilbert: I need clarification on my assignment. Dilbert: Should I use my own judgement and be forever damned if things go badly? Or should I sue your advice and invite certain calamity? the bossL both plans have good parts.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #therapy, #bossy, #session, #therapist mean, #comments, #insulting, #Advice, #hurtful, #looks, #date, #psychology

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Dilbert: I have uncontrollable urges to show people better ways to do things. Do you think the real issue might be my insecurity? Therapist: Well, I wouldn't date you but thats mostly because of your looks. Dilbert: Not helping,

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #online ereume, #older chubby men, #key words, #married men, #job offers, #cousin, #Advice, #one line job hunting

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"I wasn't getting any responses to my online resume until I inserted some key words." "I said I'm strangely attracted to older, chubby, married men with coffee-stained teeth." "That is wrong on so many levels." "Explain that to my six thousand job offers."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tell vendor, #combination, #lack of importance, #total insignificant

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Why would my boss tell a vendor our strategy and not tell me? "It's probably a combination of your lack of importance and your total insignificance." "Do you have anymore questions like that one?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company relocating, #high crime, #tax reasons, #ceo says, #limo, #parking garage, #chain bike to whino, #advice from ceo

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The Boss: "Our company will be relocating to a high-crime area for tax reasons." "Our CEO says don't worry about your safety because your limo can pull right into the underground parking garage." "Then he added, "Or chain your bicycle to a wino. Whatever."