Key To Winning Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

139 Results for Key To Winning

View 91 - 100 results for key to winning comic strips. Discover the best "Key To Winning" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 1999's comic on:


Tags #new software, #gently warm, #key board, #easier, #laptop lighter, #market driven, #create diversion

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss pionts to a projection of a steaming keyboard. The boss says, "OUr new software will gently warm your keyboard so the keys are easier to press." Dilber and Wally listen. The boss says, "We'll budnle it with our software that makes your laptop lighter." The boss says, "In a word, we have become "market driven"" Wally whispers, to Dilbert, "Creat a diversion. I'll run for help."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2000's comic on:


Tags #amoeba, #boss, #cry, #cubicle, #doing work, #gets fired, #key board, #one cell organism, #secrete

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: This isn't working out. I have to let you go, Maybe you can get your old job back at far works. The Boss: Great, Now he's going to secrete.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2000's comic on:


Tags #email, #addiction, #monkey on back, #resist, #key board with foot

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I have an email monkey on my back, but I can quit whenever I want. I don't need to check it every minute. I can resist. But Look! The stupid monkey hot my keyboard with his foot!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2001's comic on:


Tags #ergonomic evaluation, #key board, #supposed to hurt, #feel hands, #whole body numb

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is sitting at his desk. Asok the intern asks stiffly, "May I have an ergonomic evaluation of my chair and keyboard?" The Boss responds, "Asok, work is supposed to hurt. That's how you know you're doing it right." Asok exclaims, "I can't feel my hands!" To which The Boss replies, "My whole body is numb!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2003's comic on:


Tags #scolded by employee, #boss late, #dumb move, #irish line dancing, #mail document, #late bid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "And you failed at your primary objective of winning a bid for the galatikus job." "That's because you said you'd deliver the bid on time, but you got seduced by Irish line-dancing lessons and forgot to mail it!" The Boss: "I can't believe you're trying to pin the blame on the Irish."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2004's comic on:


Tags #phone calls, #plane, #hello jack, #hi jack, #misunderstood, #scared people, #flight attendant, #alraming, #irplane, #learning from trip

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: what were your key learnings from the trip? Dilbert: I learned that there are people you shouldn't call from a plane. Earlier that day Dilbert: Hi Jack!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2004's comic on:


Tags #menagerlike work, #criticize, #reorganize, #key board, #hot slef, #noredom, #offcie, #re organizing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: It's been a few hours since I've done anything managerish. I could criticize someone...nah. I could have a meeting...nah. Im reorganizing the department. Dilbert: excuse me while i beat myself with my keyboard.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2005's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #himan resources, #downsized, #free dvd, #live off land, #shoplifting, #running fast

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Don't worry about being downsized after the reorganization." "Downsized employees will get my free DVD that teaches you how to live off the land." "The key to successful shoplifting is running very fast."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2005's comic on:


Tags #sales target, #have bad credit, #bonuses, #accounts receivable, #getting bonuses

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "The only way to meet our sales target is by selling to customers who have bad credit." The Boss: "That's okay, we'll get our bonuses before anyone realizes that the accounts recievables are worhtless." The Boss: "The key to getting bonusses is acting surprised later." Dilbert: "I feel unclean."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2005's comic on:


Tags #faq for wedsite, #anticipate questions, #questionaire

View Transcript

Transcript

I hired Mr. Dogbert to write the F.A.Q. for our web site. "The key is to anticipate our customers' most likely questions." "Question 1: Where does your CEO live? I need to know so I can throw your cruddy project through his biggest window."