Low Cost Comic Strips - Page 10
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290 Results for Low Cost
View 91 - 100 results for low cost comic strips. Discover the best "Low Cost" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday January 15,
2005
Tags #slow computer, #uogarde, #cost benefit analysis, #vice president approval
Transcript
Dilbert: "My computer is too slow. I need to upgrade it." The Boss: "I need a cost benefit analysis including the cost of all alternatives, and vice president approval." Dilbert: "It was easier to get a second job and pay for the upgrade myself."
Friday March 10,
2006
Tags #arranged amrriage, #low standards, #sister, #love, #has sister, #Family, #relationships
Transcript
"My relatives want me to have an arranged marriage." "If they find someone who's totally hot and has low standards, ask if she has a sister." "What about love?" "How can you not love that?"
Saturday February 10,
2007
Tags #low balling gaols, #coming year, #decompose chair, #sounds easy, #different chair
Transcript
The Boss: I'm concerned that you might be low-balling your goals for the coming year. For example, this one says you will 'decompose in your chair'. That sounds easy. Dilbert: Not really. Half of the time I'm in a different chair."
Friday August 24,
2012
Tags #average person, #offer low prices, #prices, #products on sale, #raising prices, #smart enough
Transcript
CEO: We're going to stop pretending our products are always on sale and instead offer low prices all the time. The average person is smart enough to know that our so-called sales prices are our normal prices anyway. Dilbert: Have you ever talked to an average person? Boss: Tell me again why we're raising all of our prices?
Thursday August 30,
2012
Tags #managers & supervisors, #work ethic, #low priority tasks, #rational being, #reward, #business
Transcript
Boss: You keep spending time on low-priority tasks. Dilbert: That's because I'm a rational being. I only work on tasks that are likely to give me some sort of reward. Boss: I don't know how to deal with that. Dilbert: Have you tried managing?
Saturday November 10,
2012
Tags #work ethic, #90 day performance plan, #low ambitions
Transcript
Boss: Ted, I'm putting you on a ninety-day performance improvement play. Ted: Yes!!! I've always dreamed of making it onto the performance improvement plan! Boss: It's not as good as it sounds. Ted: With all due respect, you don't know how low my ambitions are.
Saturday November 17,
2012
Tags #executives, #honesty, #low margins, #make money, #extended warrantees, #idiots, #forgetful, #take advantage
Transcript
CEO Investor Call CEO: Our margins are so low that we gave up trying to make money that way. Now we make all of our money selling extended warranties to idiots who will forget they bought them. Woot-woot! Guess what the margin on that is! Ha ha! Dilbert: It's okay. We don't let him connect to the outside.
Monday April 07,
2008
Tags #capital cost, #estimates, #clarify, #ruin the system
Transcript
Wally, do yuo have the capital cost estimates I asked for last week? Wally: No, I always ask you to clarify what you need. You say you'll get back to me but you never do. The Boss: Maybe I could clarify it now. Wally: That would ruin my system.
Friday September 05,
2008
Tags #cost estimates, #eyebrwo, #ghost, #recognize ghost, #helpful, #how to kill, #garlic and shopvac
Transcript
A man says, "Alice, when will I get your cost estimates?" Alice says, "When will your one eyebrow turn into two?" The man says, "Is that the ghost of the guy who used to have your job? He makes you look bad because he was always helpful." Alice says, "If you're so helpful, tell me how to kill you." The ghost says, "Dang... try garlic and a shop-vac."
Saturday November 22,
2008
Tags #date, #perfect, #low entertainment value, #use our phones, #surf the internet, #call it a date, #perfect woman
Transcript
Tina: This conversation has a low entertainment value. Let's just use our phones to surf the internet, and call it a date. Dilbert: I don't use the phrase "perfect woman" often... Tina: Shhh