Lying Down Comic Strips - Page 10
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702 Results for Lying Down
View 91 - 100 results for lying down comic strips. Discover the best "Lying Down" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday March 13,
2004
Tags manipulate, lying, Advice, mayo clinic, victim to source
Transcript
Dogbert: "You can manipulate people by lying about what other people said." "If your victim goes to the source and discovers your treachery, say, of course he tells you that." Dilbert: "Your advice doesn't sound healthy." Dogbert: "That's not what the Mayo Clinic said."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday August 02,
2012
Tags big business, executives, profits down, increased compensation, incentive, feel underpaid
Transcript
CEO: Profits are way down, but don't worry your little heads about it. The board increased my annual compensation to $60 million. Now I finally have an incentive to do a good job! Un-oh. I'd better hurry because I'm already starting to feel underpaid again.
Sunday August 19,
2012
Tags absent mindedness, cruelty, managers & supervisors, entrpenuer, bullying, lying, manipulation, verbal abuse, huge jerk, biograophy, business
Transcript
Dogbert: You need to act more like an entrepreneur. Entrepreneurs make decisions that will end in failure 90% of the time. They motivate people through bullying, lying, manipulation and verbal abuse. Entrepreneurs make their employees work so many hours that their personal lives and their bodies fall apart. Boss: I've been doing all that stuff for years. Dogbert: Has it worked? Boss: No. Dogbert: Well, in that case, you're not an entrepreneur. You're just a huge jerk. Boss: Is that why no one is writing my biography?
Monday December 13,
2004
Tags death, down throat fist, eat, mouth, punches, ram fist grab pants, stock analysts, stranger, threatens coworker, boss unfazed, violence, medical
Transcript
Alice: I odnt know who you are, but I odnt like all of the questions you're asking. Im going to ram my fist down your throat , grab your pants and turn you inside out. Alice: eat, death stranger! The Boss: I see you've met our stock analyst,
Friday February 25,
2005
Tags die die, evil eye, respect, sat down wrong, wedgie
Transcript
Tina: He doesn't respect my work. I can tell by the way he's sitting. "Two can play this game. I will hate you with the fury of a thousand suns!" "Die! Die! Die~" Dilbert: "Rats. I sat down wrong and gave myself a wedgie."
Monday November 21,
2005
Tags hired abusive, lying, control freak, difficult coworkers
Transcript
"I hired an abusive, lying, back-stabbing, control freak." "But don't worry, because I'm sending you to a class on how to deal with difficult coworkers." "Wouldn't it have been better to..." "I've heard bad things about that guy."
Monday December 10,
2012
Tags brain parasite, eliminate redundancy, executives, lying, mergers & acquisitions, more choices
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO has promised that the merger will cause no layoffs. Dilbert: Is that because he's too incompetent to eliminate obvious redundancies or is he just lying? Boss: Can you give me more choices? Dilbert: A brain parasite is making him say stupid stuff?
Tuesday January 01,
2013
Tags new year's day, optimism, network down, bad new years day, good year
Transcript
Dilbert: A fresh new year is upon us and I am brimming with optimism. Ugh. Our network at work is down because my pointy-haired boss wouldn't let me upgrade the software. Now I need to work all night to fix it. Maybe this means the next 364 days will be extra awesome. Dogbert: Yeah. That's how it works.
Thursday March 07,
2013
Tags best policy, lying, powerless, superpower, truth, honesty is best policy
Transcript
Dogbert: Honesty is the best policy... whenever you think lying won't work. Otherwise, lying is awesome. It's like a freakin' superpower! Ratbert: Why am I here? Dogbert: I speak truth to the powerless.
Thursday January 10,
2008
Tags aligns with priorities, budget, lying, priorities, questiong
Transcript
The Boss: Tina, put together a document showing how our budget aligns with out priorities. Tina: It doesn't. The Boss: Write it so it seems like it does. Tina: Isn't that lying? The Boss: I call it leadership by words.

