Money Down Comic Strips - Page 10
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1000 Results for Money Down
View 91 - 100 results for money down comic strips. Discover the best "Money Down" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday November 23,
1994
Tags #existential problem, #dilbert reconciling work, #paid, #salary, #what do for money, #flick fingers, #get paid, #money
Transcript
Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "I just lost the subtle mental connection between my performance and my salary." Dilbert continues thinking, "I get paid the same no matter what I do. I can stand here and flick my fingers and still get paid." As he flicks his fingers, Dilbert says to Alice and Wally, "Do you realize what this means??!" Wally says, "Hey! You're getting paid for that!"
Wednesday January 11,
1995
Tags #venture capital firm, #watching people, #moronic ideas, #money, #crimp the mirth, #finance
Transcript
Dilbert lies on his couch and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dogbert says, "I'm starting my own venture capital firm." Dogbert continues, "I'm attracted to the concept of watching people with moronic ideas beg for money." Dilbert asks, "Will you actually finance anybody?" Dogbert replies, "That would sort of crimp the mirth."
Saturday January 21,
1995
Tags #team leader, #raise, #no extra money, #responsibility, #best epople, #leave better companies, #recognize them
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'm promoting you to team leader." Dilbert asks, "Do I get a raise?" The Boss replies, "There's no extra money, just extra responsibility. It's how we recognize our best people." Dilbert says, "I thought all the good people leave for better companies." The Boss walks away saying, "That's another way to recognize them."
Thursday March 16,
1995
Tags #ban all meetings, #dress code, #casual staus, #mission statements, #have fun, #satisfy customers, #make money, #fit five more, #cucbicle, #chair, #stock options
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a podium addressing a crowd of office workers, including Dilbert, Wally and Alice. Dogbert says, "As new owner of this company I hereby ban all meetings over one hour. The dress code is casual. Status reports are optional!" Dogbert continues, "No more mission statements or 'visions.' Our motto is 'have fun, satisfy customers, make money.'" Dilbert sleeps in his chair. In Dilbert's dream, Dogbert concludes his speech to the employees, "And stock options for all." Outside Dilbert's cubicle, Dogbert says to the Boss, "We can fit five more in this cubicle if we remove the chair."
Monday April 03,
1995
Tags #laptop computer, #upside down, #reboot, #etch -a - sketch
Transcript
As Dilbert and Wally walk by, the Boss asks, "My laptop computer is locked up. Can you help?" Dilbert holds an Etch-a-Sketch over his head and shakes it. He tells the Boss, "Remember you have to hold it upside down and shake it to reboot." The Boss says, "Oh, that's right." Wally says to Dilbert as they walk away, "I wonder if he'll ever realize we gave him an 'Etch-a-Sketch.'"
Tuesday April 18,
1995
Tags #Dogbert, #financial advisor, #sticks, #nuuities, #capital gains, #reduce income taxes, #give me money, #die a pauper
Transcript
A prospective client sits across from Dogbert's desk. Dogbert says, "Stocks . . . annuities . . . derivatives . . . capital gains tax . . ." Dogbert shouts, "It's all too confusing for you!! Give me all your money now or you'll die a pauper!! Now! Now!! Before interest rates fall!! As he signs a document, the client says, "Will this reduce my income taxes?" Dogbert says, "More than you might guess."
Wednesday May 10,
1995
Tags #frivolous email, #bogs down network, #noticed, #too much communication, #about time
Transcript
Dilbert reads an e-mail message on his computer screen. The message says, "To: all users. From: network admin. Please refrain from frivolous e-mail. It bogs down the network." Dilbert types a message that says, "To: network admin. From: Dilbert. CC: all users. I agree!" Dilbert arrives at home and asks Dogbert, "Have you noticed there's too much communication in the world, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah, every day at about this time."
Tuesday May 30,
1995
Tags #mandatory training, #business ethics, #save money, #training, #decorate offcie, #taken training, #common sense
Transcript
The Boss asks Dilbert, "Have you taken the mandatory training for business ethics?" Dilbert answers, "No. But if you SAY I did then you'll save some money on training which you can spend to decorate your office." The Boss says, "Luckily, I haven't taken the training myself." Dilbert says, "I hear it's mostly common sense anyway."
Tuesday June 20,
1995
Tags #fiance dept, #reduce costs, #short sighted ways, #save money, #job harder, #forget
Transcript
Ratbert stands behind Wally's desk and says, "I'm from the finance department. I'm here to reduce costs." Ratbert continues, "It might seem like all I do is come up with short-sighted ways to save money while making your job harder. But there's another side to this story." Wally asks, "And that would be . . . ?" Ratbert answers, "I forget."
Monday June 26,
1995
Tags #saint dogbert, #mediate, #dispute, #computers, #desert and seek, #enlightenment, #path of computing, #plan springs, #endorsement, #contract, #end of line
Transcript
The Boss says, "I asked Saint Dogbert to mediate our dispute over what kind of computers are allowed here." Dogbert stands behind him wearing a miter and holding a scepter. Looking down from the top of a file cabinet, Dogbert raises his arms and says, "I shall go to the desert and seek enlightenment. When I return I will reveal the true path of computing." The caption says, "Palm Springs." Dogbert is at a table with a man holding a suitcase full of money. Behind the man is a woman with a sack of money. Dogbert says to the man, "You call this an endorsement contract?! Go to the end of the line!"