Non Technical Comic Strips - Page 10

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211 Results for Non Technical

View 91 - 100 results for non technical comic strips. Discover the best "Non Technical" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technical issue, #coworker, #sitting in chairs, #facing each other, #software, #yell, #condescend, #stupid, #dumb, #dense, #shout, #sitting on couch, #touchy, #engineering

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Dilbert says, "I've been asked to explain our technical issue in terms you can understand." Logan says, "Good." Dilbert says, "THE SOFTWARE, IT NO WORKY!!!" Dilbert says, "He was dense and touchy. It's a bad combination."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coworker, #question, #hold out paper, #technical accuracy, #no, #coffee, #bad attitude, #harsh, #grumpy

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Coworker says, "Alice, can you check this for technical accuracy?" Alice says, "Nope. Don't have time." Alice says, "And no one else is qualified, so you might as well give up and look for a new job." Coworker says, "That was a bit harsh." Alice says, "You'd be less worthless if you fetched me some coffee."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #training, #new software, #trick, #hire, #job opening, #interview, #technical expert, #provide

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Dilbert says, "I need training to use our new software." The Boss says, "Pretend we have a job opening for a technical expert in that field. Then ask applicants how they would do whatever it is that you need to do." Man says, "Does you company provide training?" Dilbert says, "'Provide' is a strong word."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #proofread, #technical document, #acronyms, #change, #lemon flutes, #hard flea, #nonsense

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Tina says, "I proofread your technical document despite not understanding a word of it." Tina says, "I couldn't tell the acronyms from the typos, so I changed them all to whatever felt right." The Boss says, "You say we should migrate our lemon flutes to a hard flea?" Dilbert says, "Not all at once."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #proofread, #technical document, #acronyms, #change, #misread, #bullet points, #idiots, #story, #pet, #wag tail, #dog, #stories, #sit on rock, #outside, #jacket, #animals

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Dilbert says, "A technical writer misinterpreted the acronyms in my draft technical paper." Dilbert says, "But that's okay because my pointy-haired boss will turn it into content-free bullet points and show it to idiots." Dogbert says, "I like stories with lots of idiots in them." Dilbert says, "Glad to help."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech support, #sit down, #talk, #stool, #computer, #headset, #technical problems, #trick, #hurt, #pessimism, #angry, #technology

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Dilbert says, "It's not right to use your tech support job to trick people into hurting themselves." Dogbert says, "I help people take their minds off of hopeless technical problems." Dilbert says, "How do you know a problem is hopeless?" Dogbert says, "Great. So now pessimism is a crime?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #preventer of information services, #mordac, #vampire, #grumpy, #crossed arms, #upgrad computer, #useful, #non-standard, #software, #wordsmith, #yell, #point, #engineering

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Mordac, the Preventer of Information Services Tina says, "My software is so old that I can't open any files that people send me." Mordac says, "I can't upgrade your computer because then it will be non-standard." Tina says, "And by non-standard, you mean useful?" Mordac says, "Be gone, wordsmith!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #define values, #emotional illsuion, #common to children, #idiots, #non engineers, #cult

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The Boss says, "Who can define 'values'? Anyone?" Dilbert says, "Values are a type of emotional illusion common to children, idiots and non-engineers." The Boss says, "Can we pretend values are real?" Dilbert says, "Are we a cult now?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technical, #skills, #disconnect, #trivial, #knowledge, #outdated, #wasted

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Asok says, "There is a huge disconnect between my enormous technical knowledge and the trivial taks you assign to me." The Boss says, "That's a temporary situation, Asok." Asok says, "Okay, good." The Boss says, "Eventually your technical skills will become outdated."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #25 questions, #before start, #bluff, #didn't send email, #email, #excuses, #lies to boss, #non responsive, #slacker, #standoff

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Wally: I planned to be productive this week. I sent you an e-mail with 25 questions I need answered before I can start on my project. I waited patiently while your non-responsiveness crushed my hopes and dreams. The Boss: I don't have time to answer 25 questions! Wally: Well then, it appears we are at a standoff. The Boss: Okay, okay! I'll work all weekend answering your stupid questions!!! Wally: That's great, unless you can't find the e-mail I sent. Dilbert: Did you really send an e-mail?" Wally: That's not how I roll.