Obliviousness Comic Strips - Page 10
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122 Results for Obliviousness
View 91 - 100 results for obliviousness comic strips. Discover the best "Obliviousness" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday June 04,
2017
Tags insult, idiot, obliviousness
Transcript
Dilbert: As you know, every project in this company has one idiot on the team. Man: That can't be true. Boss: It is true. I assign one idiot per team to keep them from bunching together. Man: My project team doesn't have any idiots. Dilbert: There's a good explanation for why you think that. Man: I Don't see what that would be. If I had an idiot on my team I would know it. Unless...
Tuesday July 18,
2017
Ted Promoted To Software Architect
Tags manager, Promotion, intelligence, logic, obliviousness
Transcript
Boss: I promoted Ted to software architect because he doesn't know how to code. At first I thought it was a bad idea. Then I remembered that sometimes monkeys are astronauts. Dilbert: You know the monkeys don't fly the rocket, right? Boss: And Ted won't be writing code.
Friday July 28,
2017
Wally's Project Is Not Confirmed
Tags memory, obliviousness, managers, executives, hubris
Transcript
Boss: Wally says he has a secret project he can't tell me about. Did you give him that project? CEO: I don't remember every little thing I've ever done. Boss: My best strategy here is to think about other things.
Monday August 28,
2017
Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks
Tags rich people, money, stock market, investments, out of touch, obliviousness, stratification
Transcript
CEO: Hey, our stock is up two percent. I just made more money than you'll earn in your entire life. Remind me, do I leave you a tip?
Thursday November 30,
2017
If We Are Off By One Percent
Tags projection, prediction, finances, big business, guess, estimate, obliviousness
Transcript
Dilbert: According to my highly unreliable forecast, we're on the right track. But if even one of my seventeen assumptions is off by one percent, we are doomed. The obvious conclusion is that... Board: We're nailing it!
Monday December 04,
2017
Boss Finds A Thumb Drive
Tags computers, infection, malware, obliviousness, virus, hacker, hacking
Transcript
Boss: I found a thumb drive on the sidewalk. It must be my lucky day. It's like free money! Dilbert: Can free money infect our network, too? Boss: You worry too much. Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be selling all of my company stock.
Tuesday December 05,
2017
Elbonians Hackers Get Into Network
Tags hacker, hacking, malware, virus, infection, cyber security, obliviousness, password
Transcript
Boss: Elbonian hackers got into our network. We don't know how. Dilbert: Maybe it was the thumb drive you found on the sidewalk in front of our entrance. Alice: Or maybe it was because your password is "password." Boss: How do you know my password?
Wednesday December 13,
2017
Boss Hits Jackpot
Sunday March 18,
2018
Tags sociopath, obliviousness, tell-all
Transcript
Dilbert: There's a new tell-all book about our company. CEO: How bad is it? Dilbert: It's bad. Anonymous sources within the company say you're a "raging sociopath with the intellect of a clam." CEO: Put out a press release denying those lies! Dilbert: That's going to be tricky to write. CEO: Just say I deny being a sociopath with the mind of a clam. Also say I hope whoever said that about me dies a slow and terrible death. Is that clear? Dilbert: Yes, on many levels.
Tuesday February 20,
2018
Not Morons
Tags marketing, tag line, slogan, name-calling, insult, obliviousness, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Is it too late to rethink our new marketing slogan? When we say, "We're Not A Bunch Of Morons," it kinds sounds to my ears as if we are. Boss: But it says we're not. Dilbert: And you're not a rat-faced waste of oxygen. Boss: Thank you.

