Open Jars Comic Strips - Page 10
150 Results for Open Jars
View 91 - 100 results for open jars comic strips. Discover the best "Open Jars" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share November 19, 1999's comic on:
Dilbert is sitting at his computer when the phone rings. Dilbert's mom is on the other end. She is sitting in a chair with an open laptop with Dilbert's face on the screen. She says, "I've been watching you through your web cam and I don't think you're working hard enough." (With the emphasis on "much"...) She says, "Well, there wasn't much of a fire wall. I'm using your mail server to spam my mahjongg club."
Share January 26, 2001's comic on:
DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: Dogbert is in his office wearing a headset. He says, "When you open an account, you'll get a free dart board and a monkey." Dogbert continues, "If your balance drops below five hundred dollars, we'll order the monkey to kill you." Dogbert continues, "Well, think about it and get back to me."
Share March 01, 2001's comic on:
MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert stands on a stool behind a man sitting in a chair. Dogbert says, "You twist the ears to unlock the skull." The man's skull is open as if a hinge were on the side of his head. Dogbert reaches inside the skull and says, "Find the moral compass and deactivate it." Dogbert replaces the man's skull and says, "The result is something called leadership." The man points in front of him and says, "You're working weekends!"
Share April 06, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert, holding a book, says to Dogbert, "I'm bringing my copy of 'Who's Incredible' to my high school reunion." Flipping through the pages of the book, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "If anyone asks how I'm doing, I'll casually open the book and point to my name." At his high school reunion, Dilbert talks to a man and woman. Dilbert has his copy of 'Who's Incredible' under his arm. The man says, "I got rich selling a book called "Who's Incredible' to gullible people."
Share June 02, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert and Alice open a box as Wally stands by, drinking coffee. Alice says, "Dilbert, we should read the set-up instructions." Alice and Dilbert lift the contraption out of the box as Dilbert replies, "Alice, a true engineer never reads the set-up instructions." Wally takes a sip of coffee. Dilbert continues holding the contraption as Alice reads the instruction manual: "It says to keep it away from any slurping sounds." Just then, an arm reaches out and grabs Wally's head.
Share July 23, 2002's comic on:
Alice says to Tina, "This is a list of our executives who sold stock before announcing bankruptcy." Alice continues, "My plan is to bring each executive to the roof, hold him by the ankles, and shake." Tina stands on the sidewalk with an open bag. Money and personals fall from the roof. Tina says, "Ooh! A cat comb!"
Share September 20, 2002's comic on:
The Boss introduces a woman to Dilbert, "Dilbert, meet a woman who acts peeved at any sort of question." Dilbert extends his hand and asks, "How are you?" The woman opens one eye very widely, "Poink." The woman exclaims, with one eye wide open and the other closed, "How am I???" Dilbert responds, "Wow. I gotta show this to Wally."
Share June 03, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert is sitting on his couch, reading a book. Dogbert stands on the armrest and says, "I plan to open a gambling casino for people who have extraordinarily bad luck." Dilbert asks, "How can you tell who has extraordinarily bad luck?" Dogbert replies, "They would be the ones that go to my casino."
Share September 30, 2003's comic on:
CatBert: "Evil H.R. Director." "New policy: You must inform your boss before applying for an internal job opening." "PURRRRRRRRR." The Boss: "Well, good luck, you disloyal, back-stabbing ingrate."
Share November 07, 1999's comic on:
Wally is standing at a large pad with the word "SAFETY" on it, heading a meeting. Wally says, "I'm the newly designated fire warden for this floor." Wally continues, "You might expect me to be bitter about this assignment." ..."Granted, it tells the world I wasn't productive at my regular job." The group looks on as Wally continues, "And if the building burns, I'm expected to be the last one out." Turning over the page on the pad saying, "But my only concern is your safety. The large pad now reveals a sketch of three little stick figures running with the word "AAAGH!" above them. Wally explains, "In the event of a fire, don't be too proud to panic." The next page is a sketch of a stick figure, flying head first, into a toilet. Wally says, "If the windows won't open, try flushing yourself to safety. ..."And never, ever get between me and the exit door." The boss interrupts, "Wally..."