Paid Dues Comic Strips - Page 10

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View 91 - 100 results for paid dues comic strips. Discover the best "Paid Dues" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consultant, #create, #disruptive innovations, #dogbert consults, #redefine market, #business

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DOGBERT CONSULTS Dogbert: "To survive, you must create disruptive innovations that redefine the market." wally: "Does that mean the same thing as 'sell things people want'?" Dogbert: "There's one big difference." wally: "You only get paid if you say it in a funny way?" dogcart: "I like to think disruptively innovative."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competitors, #tired, #unfocused, #pester, #endless series, #charity request, #employee birthday parties, #blood drives, #can't focus

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dogcart: "I can make your competitors tired and unfocused." "I'll pester them with an endless series of charity requests, employee birthday parties and blood drives." "I know it works because they paid me to do it to you." The boss: "So... tired... can't... focus..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #over paid, #4 dollars, #honest, #reports mistake, #bowels of bureaucarzy, #correct injustice

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ASOK: There is an error on my tiny paycheck. It is four dollars too much. The Boss: Gasp! Now you must travel to the bowels of the bureaucracy to correct the injustice, Asok: or I could just keep it as a reward for my honesty. The Boss: Bowles I say!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #small business, #need to be paid, #small man, #truthful, #painfully honest

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I own a small business. Its imperative that you pay us on time or else we'll go out of business. and then you wouldn't ever need to pay... Oh dear lord, what have I said?!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #low pay, #lowest paid, #blame, #no one left, #aliens, #illegal

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Tina: "I just saw a list of everyone's salary." "I thought the glass ceiling was holding me down, but you have the highest pay here." "There's no one left to blame for my low pay except... Ooh, wait... How about illegal aliens?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #relocatating, #better cubicle, #team of movers, #boxed possessions, #undisclosed location, #laminate company id

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Asok is packing boxes. He tells Dilbert, "I'm relocating to a better cubicle." Asok continues, "Tonight a team of movers will take my boxed possessions to an undisclosed location." Asok continues, "They're also going to laminate my company I.D." Asok continues, "I'm supposed to leave it with the guard on the way out." Asok holds up a check and says, "And I got paid two days early!" Asok continues, "It's all because management appreciated the constructive criticism I posted on the message board." Asok folds his arms proudly and says, "As I hoped, my condescending tone helped them to see their folly." Dilbert asks, "Do you mind if I rifle through your boxes and take office supplies?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new director, #first impressions, #office in lobby, #nearest growler, #directions, #information booth, #directs

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The Boss: Carol, I'm making you our new director of first impressions pro team! Carol: My years of hard work have finally paid off! Im a dierctor! Carol: Why is my office in the lobby? Can you direct me ti the nearest growler?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #statistical analysis, #efforts and rewards, #sea of randomness, #devoid of purpose, #lactation

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Asok: "I did a statistical analysis and found no correlation between my efforts and my rewards." "I felt adrift in a sea of radomness and absurd, devoid of purpose, lost." "And then I got paid and I purchased some unnecessary merchandise and now I feel fine." Wally: "Lactation can't be far behind."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #100 million, #dental plan, #not effective, #major corporation

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Dogbert's Executive Search Firm "How would you like to be the CEO of a major corporation?" "You'd be paid $100 million per year just for showing up." "I'd have to see the dental plan." "He's not very effective during the day."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"You know what's funny? I'm getting paid to consult, but you're the smartest and most experienced person in the room." "That must burn you like the heat of a thousand suns." "That's my favorite sound!" TWEEEET