Perfect Balance Comic Strips - Page 10

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157 Results for Perfect Balance

View 91 - 100 results for perfect balance comic strips. Discover the best "Perfect Balance" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogberts tech support, #software, #cat scan machine, #break room, #insert head, #trickster dogbert, #prnak, #cowoorker, #labor market, #engineering

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Caption: Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert on phone with Tech Support guy. Dogbert sitting at computer terminal with hand on mouse. Dogbert says, "Our software is perfect. The problem must be with you." Tech Support guy on phone with Dogbert. Dogbert continues, "Go to the cat scan machine in the break room and insert your head. I'll monitor you from here." Wally watches as Tech Support guy inserts his head into microwave. Tech Support guy says, "Do you see the problem?" Wally says, "I blame the tight labor market."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 1998's comic on:


Tags #web pages, #urls, #replace urls, #uniform resource locators

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Dilbert sitting at computer terminal while The Boss gripes, "I don't see why our web pages need URLs. Get rid of them." The Boss, in a unsure manner, says, "Did that make any sense?" Dilbert replies, "Yes, it's brilliant." Dilbert says, "Give me a month and I'll replace our URLs with uniform resource locators." The Boss clinches his fist and says, "Perfect."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 1997's comic on:


Tags #cake, #engineers, #patent celebration, #patents, #schedule celebration

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Dilbert says to the Boss's secretary, "Carol, could you check our pointy-haired boss's calendar?" Carol grumbles. Dilbert explains, "We'd like to schedule a celebration for the engineers who got patents." Carol grumbles. Dilbert says, "We're all available on the sixth, ninth, twentieth and the twenty-first." Carol says, "I'll schedule it for the tenth. That's the only day he can do it." Dilbert replies, "Um . . . None of the engineers can make it on the tenth." Carol says, "It's not a perfect world." Wally asks Dilbert, "When's the patent celebration?" Dilbert says, "Shut up." On the tenth, the Boss sits at a conference table eating cake. Carol stands behind him. The Boss says, "We should do this more often." Carol says, "Yeah, I like cake."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 1997's comic on:


Tags #uncertainty, #anxiety, #Wally, #no strength, #reorganzie, #downsize, #merger, #sarcasm, #cynicism

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Wally is driving to work. He thinks, "I have a vague feeling of uncertainty." At work Wally thinks, "It gets stronger at the office." Wally loses his balance and thinks, "The uncertainty saps my strength. My suitcase is getting heavier." Wally crawls on the floor and says, "Must.. get... to... cubicle." Wally leans back in his chair. He thinks, "The uncertainty feels like a piano on my chest." The Boss looks in on him. The Boss says, "I decided to reorganize... or downsize, unless there's a merger." Wally waves his arms about. Wally says, "I summon the unholy demons of Apathy, Sarcasm, and Cynicism!" Wally is surrounded by devils and demons. He says, "Good thinking! Reorganizations always increase profits!" The Boss thinks, "Wow. Third time today."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 1999's comic on:


Tags #raises, #young employees, #few dollars, #buy small motorcyel, #crack cocaine, #be your mentor, #tickle my own fett, #perfect sat

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The boss sits across from Asok. The boss says, "Asok, I can't give raises to young employees." The boss says, "Because as soon as you get a few dollars in your pocket..." The boss says, "You buy small motorcycles a disappear in the night." The boss says, "I know that's a generalization." The boss says, "Some of you prefer the crack cocaine." Asok is mad. The boss says, "The good new is that I'm willing to be your mentor." Asok gets up and screams. Asok says, "Aaagh! I got double eight hundreds on my SAT!!! For what?!!" The boss walks Asok out. The boss says, "Sometimes when I'm in a bad mood I tickle my own feet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2001's comic on:


Tags #discount brokerage, #free dart board, #monkey, #drops below, #five hundred, #order money to kill, #strange techniques, #animals

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DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: Dogbert is in his office wearing a headset. He says, "When you open an account, you'll get a free dart board and a monkey." Dogbert continues, "If your balance drops below five hundred dollars, we'll order the monkey to kill you." Dogbert continues, "Well, think about it and get back to me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2001's comic on:


Tags #yoga class, #harmony and blance, #stare at stretchy women

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. Wally approaches from behind and says, "I signed up for a yoga class." Wally continues, "They say it will help me achieve harmony and balance." Wally continues, "Failing at that, I plan to stare at stretchy women."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2003's comic on:


Tags #loser magazine, #forgetting, #sounds good, #fame

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The reporter says to Wally, "Your story is perfect for 'Loser Magazine.'" The reporter continues, "It makes me wish I'd written it down because I'm already forgetting...Oops, it's gone." The reporter concludes, "I'll just make up something that sounds good. And I'll use photos of a model. Thanks, Willy." Wally thinks, "I'm famous!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2004's comic on:


Tags #product design, #consumer electronics, #form emotional bond, #ego influenced, #design process

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Product designer Dogbert: I bring you the future of product design for consumer electronics. Dogbert: Behold Natures perfect shape! your customers will form and emotional bond, Dilbert: Do you think your ego influenced the design process? The boss: Its wagging. Dogbert: Bah!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2005's comic on:


Tags #window facing cubicle, #available, #printer papaer, #free trip, #vendor, #sunlight, #bleach, #visible wood

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A prestigious window-facing cubicle has just become available. "It'll be a perfect place to store all the printer paper I bought so I could win a free trip from the paper vendor." "And maybe the sunlight wll bleach out the visible wood chips."