Pot Luck Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

109 Results for Pot Luck

View 91 - 100 results for pot luck comic strips. Discover the best "Pot Luck" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #grades, #managers & supervisors, #small animal snuff film, #sociopath module, #punch a squirrel, #extra credit, #coffee pot, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I heard you got booted off the management fast track. Wally: Yeah. I fell asleep during the small animal snuff film and failed the sociopath module. Dilbert: That seems harsh. Wally: I offered to punch a squirrel, but they don't allow extra credit.

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #deception, #new business strategy, #laptop, #coffee shop, #public access, #wifi, #hackers, #strategy document, #sell secrets, #competitors, #business strategy, #break in

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Wally, I want you to create a new business strategy for the company. Then use your laptop in a coffee shop that has public access to wi-fi. Hackers will get into your computer in minutes and steal your strategy document. With any luck, the hackers will sell those secrets to our competitors. Obviously, we would never use any strategy you created, so our competitors will be misled. Wally: So... you want me to do a bad job on an assignment and then go drink coffee? Boss: Can you handle that? Wally: I like my odds. Dilbert: Why do you want a copy of our business strategy? Wally: It'll save a step.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criminals, #office workers, #work ethic, #cesspool, #horrible office conditions, #better choices, #career criminal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What's your son doing here? Coworker: Today is 'Bring Your Kid To The Cesspool Day." The idea is to show kids how horrible it is to work in an office. That way, they can make better choices and avoid a life like ours. Dilbert: Just out of curiosity, who told you this is "Bring Your Kid To The Cesspool Day?" Coworker: Wally. Oh. Child: I've decided to become a career criminal. Dilbert: Good luck with all of that.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #slacker, #entire career, #listen to podcasts, #drink coffe, #surf internet, #multi slacking

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I've been a slacker my entire career, but now I want more out of life. My plan is to listen to podcasts while I drink coffee and search the Internet for fun. Dilbert: Multi-slacking? Wally: Wish me luck.

Tina's Soul Will Live On

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina's Soul Will Live On - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reincarnation, #afterlife, #faith, #soul

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I hate my job, but I'm looking forward to my afterlife. Dilbert: Are you hearing good things about decomposing? Tina: My soul will live forever. Wally: Good luck. I lost mine at my first performance review.

Turn Down Service

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Turn Down Service - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pun, #wordplay, #hotel, #turn-down

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'd like to decline your turn-down service tonight so I can have some privacy. Voice: We're going to do it anyway. Good luck finding your stuff after we randomly move it. Dilbert: What? You can't do that! I hereby turn down your turn down of your turn-down service! Voice: Say goodbye to your phone charger!

Wally Teaches Success

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Teaches Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #success, #luck, #money, #winning, #mentor, #Advice

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Can you mentor me on how to be successful? Wally: Your best strategy is a combination of lying and being related to rich people. Asok: What is the second-best strategy? Wally: Crime is second. Winning a lottery is third.

Coffee Machine Uses Guilt

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Coffee Machine Uses Guilt - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #alice, #Dilbert, #coffee, #coffee maker, #automatic, #invention, #manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our coffee maker. Now it uses guilt to manipulate people into making a fresh pot if they take the last cup. Coffee Maker: You disgust me. Wally: I get that a lot.

Ai Too Stupid To Be Dangerous

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ai Too Stupid To Be Dangerous - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #inventions, #robot, #technology, #Lottery, #humans, #smart

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Are you worried that the A.I. you created will take over the world? Dilbert: No, I modeled it after human intelligence so it won't be smart enough. Robot: Buwhahahahaha! I will buy lottery tickets and use my winnings to take over the world! Asok: Good luck.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #boss, #complaining, #eating, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #sounds

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need to talk to you about your apple-eating. Dilbert: My what? Boss: Every afternoon you eat an apple at your desk. Your co-workers are complaining because it's loud. They can't work with all of your crispy chewing noise. Dilbert: In my defense, my co-workers are so incompetent that the less work they do, the better off the company is. Boss: That is a surprisingly robust defense. I'll come back if I can think of a counter-argument. Dilbert: Good luck. Crunch.