dilbert wearing face mask: what college did you go to?
colleague wearing face mask: i'd rather not say.
dilbert: the only people who answer that way are people who went to harvard. do they teach you false modesty?
colleague: it was my major.
dogbert: my audit of your company has uncovered many disturbing things. for example, did you know that the sales department holds cockfights on the third floor every tuesday?
boss: why have i never been invited?
dogbert: you're not a rooster.