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View 91 - 100 results for review 80 million lines comic strips. Discover the best "Review 80 Million Lines" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2003's comic on:


Tags #record loss, #press release, #ceo stepped down, #100 million, #tenure, #shareholders, #bought stock

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Dilbert is working on his computer. Wally is standing behind him. Dilbert says, "Here's the press release about our record loss." Dilbert reads, "The CEO stepped down after earning more than $100 million more than the company itself during his tenure." Dilbert continues reading, "In a message to shareholders, he said, 'Ha ha! Maybe you should have bought stock in me!! Who's your daddy?!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2003's comic on:


Tags #audio lessons, #hundred million, #showing up, #performing ceo, #be the person, #buy audio lessons

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Dogbert: Would you like to make a hundred million dollars for just showing up at work? Dogbert: My audio lessons teach you how to become an underperforming CEO. $19.95 Step One: become A CEO> Step Two: Be the sort who would buy these audio lessons.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2003's comic on:


Tags #guest cartoonist, #rob the dinosuar, #bob, #million degrees, #costume, #you idiot, #no pay, #every has cotsume

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Whos todays Guest Cartoonist? Hi rob the dinosaur here! Today I want to.... cut! Your name is Bob! Sir, Its like a million degrees in here, Cant we take a two minute break? No! You'll do it until you get it right. you idiot! you have dissected me. no pay for you! I hate dilbert, SSH! HE'll hear you! Answer: Go to Dilbert.com

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2004's comic on:


Tags #360 review, #evil, #judged, #lazy, #manipulative, #no risk, #quality of work, #retribution

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"It's called a 360 degree review. You get to evaluate me at no risk of retribution." "No matter what you say about me, you will only be judged on the quality of your work." "Sometimes you are lazy, evil and manipulative." "The quality of your work just went way down."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2004's comic on:


Tags #real estate agent, #10 million, #first property, #covered with frogs, #banshee farm, #access road, #boiling cesspool

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The real estate agent The first property costs $10 million. Its covered with endangered frogs and its next to a banshee farm. The access road is a narrow path across a boiling cesspool of tormented souls.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2004's comic on:


Tags #80 hour week, #crazy talk, #less work, #loofah, #evil director, #human resources, #business

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Alice: Im working 80 hours a week. I barely have time to bathe. Catbert: try using your tongue during meetings, Its like a bath and a loofah all in one. Alice: Or I could do less work. Catbert: Thats crazy talk.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2004's comic on:


Tags #earned 100 million, #senior management, #unexpended stock options, #incentivized

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CEO: "Tomorrow I'll tell the stockholders that we earned $100 million!" dilbert: "Will you tell them that you gave all of their profits to senior management in the form of unexpensed stock options?" "We had to be incentivized." "So you wouldn't take their furniture, too?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2004's comic on:


Tags #energy, #million dollar salary, #secreatry, #shareholder meeting, #spank, #stock options, #turned ugly, #beat up, #bandages, #health

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CEO: The shareholder meeting turned ugly when I said we used all the profits to give ourselves stock options. They don't understand that I wouldn't work as hard if all I got was my million dollar case salary. Id barely have the energy ti spans my secretary. The boss: Too much info

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2003's comic on:


Tags #self evaluation, #performance review, #core values, #honesty, #integrity, #Wally, #dishonest

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The Boss: I need your self evaluation so I can write your performance review. Remember to rate yourself on our core values of honesty and integrity. Wally claims he did no work this year. But he's so dishonest , so you can't be sure.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2005's comic on:


Tags #no budeget, #give raisem, #business trip las vegas, #four million, #bathrub, #flooded five floors, #bartenders

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The Boss: "Don't blame me, but there's no budget to give you a raise this year." Alice: "Why not?" The boss: "My business trip to Las Vegas cost four million dollars because I passed out in the bathtub with the water running and flooded five floors." The boss; "The bartenders there are totally irresponsible."