Run Marathon Comic Strips - Page 10

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View 91 - 100 results for run marathon comic strips. Discover the best "Run Marathon" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #emplyees, #org limbo, #return calls, #revised org chart, #beautiful

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Dilbert, Dogbert and the boss are sitting at a small round table. Dogbert is wearing a turban with a quarter-moon on it. He says, "I can contact employees who are in org-limbo." Alice appears beside them standing and saying, "Hello-o-o! Why doesn't anyone return my calls?" Dogbert is holding up a chart in front of Alice and shouts, "Come toward the revised chart, Alice!" Alice says, "It's so beautiful!" Dilbert and the boss, run off scared.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the turnaround ceo, #mole, #fire, #affect revenue, #outsource everything, #one smart employee, #risk, #rude

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The Turnaround CEO The devilish looking CEO asks Dilbert, "Tell me, mole, who can I fire without affecting revenue?" Dilbert replies, "In theory, you could outsource everything and run the company with one smart employee." Dilbert continues, "And at the risk of sounding rude, only one of us knew that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executive mba program, #one hour long, #degree, #prestigious university

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The boss, Wally and Dilbert are sitting at a table. The boss says: "I signed up for an executive MBA program." The boss says: "It's one-hour long and I get a degree from a prestigious university." The boss says: "I'd better run. I'm already a half-hour late."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #kitty litter, #resumes, #shredder

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Headline: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert says to Asok, "We're almost out of kitty litter." Catbert continues, "Gather all the resumes we got this week and run them through the shredder." Asok asks, "Shouldn't we be matching these with our openings?" Catbert responds, "That's what we're doing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #medical mel, #needle, #four feet long, #pencil, #javelin champion, #bob short, #shiskabob

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Headline: Medical Mel. Dilbert hears Mel on the phone saying, "...the needle was four feet long and thick as a pencil." Mel's voice continues, "I tried to run but the doctor had been an Olympic javelin champion." Mel's voice continues, "My new nickname at the hospital is Bob - short for Shishkabob." Dilbert covers his ears.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #funding, #continuous harping, #expensive consultant, #analyze budget, #chaos, #complexity, #simulations

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "In response to your continuous harping about not having enough funding.." The Boss is joined by another man. The Boss continues, "I hired an expensive consultant to analyze your budget." The consultant says to Dilbert, "I'll have to run some chaos and complexity simulations, but it looks as if you need more money."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hate people, #never allowed shoes, #Dogbert, #hows my walking, #dial, #1800

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"I plan to make bumper stickers for pedestrians that say, 'How am I walking? Call 1-800 blah, blah, blah.'" "If you call the number and report people, they'll never again be allowed to purchase shoes!" "The best part about hating people is that I never run out of great ideas."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #merging with evil compnay, #downsize, #how valuable

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"What?!! According to the paper, we're merging with an evil company that plans to downsize us." "Did they run my quote about how valuable you are?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #stock market, #innovative pordcuts, #in pipeline, #r&d budget, #firings, #sexy startup, #work smarter, #ironic, #money

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Boss: Our stock is down 49% and we have no innovative products in the pipeline. CEO: Slash the R&D budget, fire 9,000 employees, and buy a sexy start-up company that we can run into the ground. Boss: We did all of that last year. CEO: Did I already tell the employees to work smarter? Boss: Yes. They thought you were being ironic.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #drive by management, #whats hi sanme, #out run, #answer no questions, #need for clarification, #we're dead

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The Boss: It's time for some drive-by-management. Don't forget to do the thing for what hs name or else we're dead. must ...outrun cries for.... clarification.