Scientific Process Comic Strips - Page 10

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117 Results for Scientific Process

View 91 - 100 results for scientific process comic strips. Discover the best "Scientific Process" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2007's comic on:


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"Asok, I need you to create a PowerPoint presentation that will save our department from being eliminated." "You must quantify the unquantifiable. And that can only be done by a process that I call lying." "Lying is a process?" "It can be, if you use enough slides."

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Share February 22, 2013's comic on:


Tags #astroid intercept missle, #fate of earth, #scientific equipment, #united nations, #science

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Boss: Good news! We were the low bidder for The United Nation's asteroid intercept missile. The fate of Earth depends on your combined talents plus my management skills. Wally, you're in charge of fissile material, which I assume is a type of soda.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2008's comic on:


Tags #wall of approval, #heckler, #conceptual bricks, #tough audience, #aggressive, #dislike

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Each department that signs off on the proposal adds a brick to the wall of approval." approval process " Alice: Question: What would happen if I flung one of those conceptual bricks at your conceptual, stupid head? They warned me you were a tough audience. Alice: Fling! Fling!

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Share May 01, 2008's comic on:


Tags #blather, #died inprocess, #grossly overpaid, #thwarted takeover

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Dogbert: I thwarted the hostile takeover bid, but your CEO died in the process. Dogbert: I'll find you someone else to blather about quality while being grossly overpaid. Dogbert: I like your look, but can you blather?" Man: Quality is my global added value!"

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Share March 13, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #cmmi, #confused, #model, #framework, #budget, #guessing, #front shot, #business

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The Boss says, "We're going to use CMMI. It's a model for developing a process to creat a framework." The Boss says, "Or it might be a process for creating a framework to make a model." The Boss says, "There's no budget for training, so we'll be relying on guessing more than usual."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2010's comic on:


Tags #nose job, #homeopathy, #art department, #annoyed, #irrational, #hurt feelings, #scorpios, #horoscope, #astrologer, #mean, #insult, #snout, #dog nose

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Asok in the art department Man says, "Maybe you could try homeopathy to fix your botched nose job." Asok says, "Maybe you could try homeopathy to fix your irrational belief in things that have no scientific basis." Man says, "You sort of hurt my feelings there." Asok says, "Didn't your astrologer warn you about Scorpios?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2010's comic on:


Tags #customer service, #credit card expense, #reimbursement, #late fees, #punish, #devil, #hell, #rock, #sit at computer

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Dilbert says, "It takes you two months to process my company credit card expense reimbursement." Dilbert says, "So I get in trouble every month for incurring late fees." Dilbert says, "Why must I be punished for your incompetence?" Devil says, "Apparently I'm awesome."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2009's comic on:


Tags #job, #interview, #disappointment, #humiliation, #business

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Dogbert says, "You survived the rigorous interview process, but there are no openings in engineering." Dogbert says, "However, I am prepared to offer you a position in sales." Dilbert says, "You mean a job?" Dogbert says, "No, just a position." Dilbert says, "This took and ugly turn."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #processes, #discussion, #plans, #chicken, #ridicule, #stupidity, #business

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The Boss says, "Today, we'll discuss ways to improve our workflow process." The Boss says ,"As you know, a good process is a substitute for good employees." The Boss says, "The ultimate goal is to simplify our processes so much?" The Boss says, "That we can train chickens to do your jobs in return for pellets." The Boss says, "We'll begin by discussing our process for funding new projects." The Boss says, "Could any part of our process be replaced by, for example, ringing a bell with your beak?" Alice says, "Yes, but only the part that you do." The Boss says, "There's a wrinkle in the plan." Chicken thinks, "Pellet"

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Share June 13, 2010's comic on:


Tags #consult, #critic, #argument, #waste of time, #rip off, #expensive, #angry

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Dogbert Consults Dogbert says, "A good leader cultivates internal critics so all sides of an argument are heard." Dogbert says, "For example, I cultivated Dilbert to argue the point I just made." Dilbert says, "Your premise is that a leader is not qualified to make decisions without the help of critics." Dilbert says, "But selecting the appropriate critic is itself a decision." Dilbert says, "There is no reason to assume a leader is any better at selecting a critic than he is at making any other decision." Dilbert says, "Your overpaid consultant is recommending that you add randomness to an already flawed process." Dilbert says, "In summary, this meeting is a waste of time, and your consultant is ripping you off." Dogbert says, "How great was that? You owe me $400 for my time."