Several Options Comic Strips - Page 10

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View 91 - 100 results for several options comic strips. Discover the best "Several Options" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 1995's comic on:


Tags #strategic planning team, #satisfaction, #vague emotional terms, #mediocre thinkers, #believe options, #steer the company, #viewgraphs, #last years viewgraph

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "I'm putting you on the strategic planning team." The Boss continues, "It's like work but without the satisfaction of accomplishing anything." Dilbert and three co-workers sit at a conference table. A man says, "You're new, so let me explain how this works." The man continues, "We have meetings and talk about the company's strategy in vague emotional terms." The man continues, "In time, we convince ourselves that we're more than mediocre thinkers who sit around complaining." The man continues, "We start believing our opinions will steer the company. We feel important. We feel ALIVE!!" A woman tells Dilbert, "Then we snap out of it and make viewgraphs that say we should keep doing what we're doing." Dilbert says, "I like making viewgraphs." The woman replies, "Actually, we use last year's viewgraph."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 1996's comic on:


Tags #assigned, #boss summarizes, #ceiling tiles, #cnn report, #engineer, #lowly engineer, #recommendation, #technology decisons, #technology descion, #three bullet points, #interactive holographs, #engineering

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The panel is titled, "Mysteries Revealed." Dogbert asks, "How do ceiling tiles get damaged?" The caption says, "It begins with a lowly engineer who makes a technology decision." Dilbert sits at his desk humming. The caption says, "The engineer writes up his recommendation." Dilbert hands the Boss a report and says, "Ten pages." The caption says, "The Boss summarizes it for the executive director." The Boss hands the director a document and says, "One-page summary." The caption says, "The executive director summarizes it for the vice president." The executive puts a transparency on the overhead projector and says, "Three bullet points . . ." The caption says, "The VP summarizes it for the president." The VP says, "Nice necktie." The president replies, "Thanks. Have some stock options." The caption says, "The president sees a CNN report and makes a technology decision." The president sits in a chair watching television with his feet resting on the VP's back. A newscaster says, "Interactive holographs are hot!" The president says, "Get me some of that!" The caption says, "The engineer is assigned to justify the president's technology decision." Dilbert's feet hang from the ceiling and he says, "Ouch." The Boss thinks, "He took that well."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 1996's comic on:


Tags #accordingly, #decrease details, #greetings, #increase lies, #more funding, #need more funding, #variety super powers, #senior vice president

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our senior vice president will be dropping in today." The Boss holds up a chart showing "lies" and "boss level." He says, "Remember to increase your lies accordingly." The Boss holds up a chart showing "details" and "boss level." He says, "And decrease the details you provide." The Boss continues, "If I think you're being too informative, I'll signal by fidgeting." The Boss continues, "Just say everything is fine, but we need more funding. Here he comes." The senior VP stands in the doorway and says, "Sorry I'm late. How is everyone?" Wally replies, "I'm not saying." Dilbert replies, "I'm fine, but I need more funding." Alice replies, "I have a wide variety of super powers." The senior VP thinks, "I feel a sudden, urgent need to unload my stock options." The Boss waves his arms and thinks, "Fidget fidget."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 1996's comic on:


Tags #idiot boss, #move mouse pad, #mouse at end, #cursor, #moving desk, #need 800 upgrade, #dogbert tech support

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Dogbert answers the phone and says, "This is Dogbert. How may I abuse you?" The Boss sits at his desk and says into the telephone, "I need to move my cursor to the right but my mouse is at the edge of the mousepad." Dogbert asks, "Have you tried rebooting without saving your files?" The Boss replies, "Yeah, several times." Dogbert asks, "Have you tried moving your desk?" The Boss pushes his desk. The Boss says, "It didn't work." Dogbert says, "You need my $800 mousepad upgrade." The Boss asks Carol, "What account does this get charged to?" Carol replies, "'Idiot Expense,' just like everything else."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 1999's comic on:


Tags #reliable computer, #use software, #poing a spoon, #hole in back, #doing it worng

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Dilmom is at a computer store. The salesman says, "This is our most reliable computer, unless you try to use software." The salesman says, "It'll freeze several times a day. But you can restart it by poking a spoon into a hole in the back." Dilbert's mom says, "Has that ever worked?" The salesman says, "We think people are doing it wrong."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 1999's comic on:


Tags #bathrobe, #30% raise, #dont quit, #terry cloth rebel

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Dilbert wears a bathroom and carries a briefcase. Dilbert walks by the boss. The boss thinks, "A bathrobe! This can only mean he found out how much market power an engineer has." The boss says, "I'll give you a 30% raise if you don't quit!!" Dilbert says, "Um.. okay." A women with several piercings says, "Take me, you terry-cloth rebel."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 1999's comic on:


Tags #knew you were rebel, #cool rebels, #stop talking, #threats, #argue, #bathrobe to work

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The girl with several piercing holds Dilbert's arm and says, "When I saw you wear a bathrobe to work, I knew you were a rebel." The girl says, "From now on, when you come upon a group of us cool rebels, we won't suddenly stop talking." Dilbert and the girl walk up to two heavily pierced men. One of the pierced rebel men says, "But if I'M right and yellow IS a flavor, I get to hammer a nail into YOUR skull."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 1999's comic on:


Tags #mordac, #preventer of information, #cios office, #delete meail, #server, #message, #insulting email, #regeret sending

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Tina faces Mordac who stands in front of a closed door. Mordac says, "Why do you seek Mordac - the preventer of information services?" Tina opens her purse and says, "I regret sending an insulting e-mail message to our CIO. I need to delete it from the server." Tina shoots at the door several times. Tina says, "The server was in that closet, right?" Mordac says, "That's the CIO's office."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 1998's comic on:


Tags #hallway, #boss, #Dilbert, #tissue, #write down, #rips, #ink blot, #mishandled, #ignored

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Dilbert says to the Boss, "I need some management fire power." Dilbert begins explaining to the Boss, "The VP of marketing says we can't use the vendor we selected." The Boss fumbles in his pocket and says, "Let me write this down." Dilbert asks, "Do you want some paper?" The Boss replies, "No, I'll just use this tissue...oops." Dilbert continues, "Anyway, the other vendor can't deliver." The Boss continues to make a bess of the tissue. He says, "Oops." Dilbert stops and says, "I have some note paper." The Boss continues, making a mess, saying, "No, this is fine. Oops." Dilbert says, "All you have is a blotch on a scrap." The Boss replies, "It's more of a reminder than a detailed note." The Boss sits at his desk with several little scraps of paper spread out before him. He thinks, "Hmmm...It's not so useful when I put it with the others."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2001's comic on:


Tags #look like losers, #give numbers, #internal subterfuge, #eighty percent, #vp

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There are several papers on a table. The Boss says to Dilbert, "We can't show these numbers to our VP. They make us look like losers." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Find something we're doing well and give him those numbers instead." Dilbert, wearing dark glasses and a false moustache, looks on as the VP reads the report and says, "Wow! Our internal subterfuge is up eighty percent!"