Shake Hands Comic Strips - Page 10
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499 Results for Shake Hands
View 91 - 100 results for shake hands comic strips. Discover the best "Shake Hands" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday July 21,
1992
Tags computer, squirrels, Dilbert, Dogbert, script, life, super, model, predict, future, nut mines, evil, kidnapped
Transcript
Dilbert hands a book to Dogbert and says, "Here's the full script of the rest of your life. My supercomputer model predicted it." Dogbert reads the script and says, "Well, according to this I'll be kidnapped by evil squirrels and forced to work in their nut mines." Dilbert says, "They get me too." Dogbert says, "I didn't know that evil squirrels had nut mines." Dilbert replies, "It's probably too late to do anything about it."
Tuesday July 28,
1992
Tags exercise, happiness, Dogbert, bob, newsletter, clueless, professional, wrestling, home, device, looks, brains, healthy, read
Transcript
Dogbert hands Bob the Dinosaur a publication and says, "Bob, here's a copy of my new newsletter for clueless people." Bob reads, "Dogbert's Clues for the Clueless: 1. Professional wrestling is all faked. 2. Nobody ever lost weight on a home exercise device." Bob looks upset as he continues to read, "3. Looks are more important to happiness than brains. 4. If people don't comment on you new hairdo, they hate it." Dogbert says, "It's not healthy to read them all at once, Bob."
Thursday August 13,
1992
Tags Dilbert, fiasco, rare, disease, puppetitis, hand, puppet, catch
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "My date was a fiasco." Dilbert continues, "She has a rare disease called puppetitis - it makes your hand act like a puppet." Dilbert continues, "Apparently you can catch it by holding hands." Dilbert moves his hand like a puppet and says, "But it was worth it."
Saturday August 22,
1992
Tags Dilbert, bills', big, egg-shaped, men's fashion, clothes, statement, sweater, brown
Transcript
Dilbert walks into "Bill's Big 'N' Egg-Shaped Men's Fashions." A sign in the window says, "Specializing in the ovoid man." Dilbert says to the salesclerk, "I want to some clothes that make a statement." The clerk responds, "All our clothes make a statement." The salesperson hands Dilbert a sweater and says, "This sweater says 'Help me, help me, I look like a big egg!'" Dilbert asks, "Does it come in brown?"
Friday September 11,
1992
Tags Dilbert, flowers, woman, non-refundable, date, deposit, diskette, dating, history, personal, references, financial, disclosure, rejection, notice, verbal
Transcript
Dilbert hands a woman flowers and says, "Here are the flowers and the non-refundable date deposit." Dilbert hands the woman a diskette and says, "This diskette has my dating history, personal references and full financial disclosure." Dilbert asks, "When may I expect the rejection notice?" The woman replies, "I can give you a verbal now . . ."
Saturday September 26,
1992
Tags Dogbert, photo, proof, completed, hit-man, contract, Dilbert, sitting, lifeless, stuffed, chair, looks, watching, technically, kill, prove, life
Transcript
Dogbert hands a photograph to a man behind a desk and says, "Here is photo proof that I completed my hit-man contract on Dilbert." The man replies, "Excellent." Dogbert says, "Here he is, sitting lifeless in his stuffed chair." The man looks at the picture and says, "It looks like he's just watching television." Dogbert says, "Technically, my contract doesn't say I must kill him. It says I must 'prove he has no life.'"
Wednesday October 28,
1992
Tags Dogbert, natural, mental, peaks, knowledge, improve, performance, hourly, temperature, readings, identify, avoid
Transcript
Dogbert sits in a chair across from a man. Dogbert says, "Every person has natural daily rhythms of mental peaks and troughs. We can use this knowledge to improve your performance." Dogbert hands the man a thermometer and continues, "We use hourly body temperature readings to identify and avoid the troughs." As the man leans back in his chair and waves his arms, Dogbert writes, "One o'clock. We have encountered a severe trough. I fear it could be the dreaded 'El Nino' trough."
Monday November 16,
1992
Tags Dogbert, elbonia, elbonians, erupted, civil, war, interview, weapons, taking
Transcript
Dogbert sits on the hassock watching tv. A newscaster says, "The tiny nation of Elbonia erupted in civil war." In Elbonia, a television reporter holds a microphone toward two Elbonians and asks, "What caused you to turn your weapons on your own people?" One Elbonian asks, "Weapons? We can use weapons?" The other Elbonian puts his hands on his hips and says, "Well, no wonder it was taking so long."
Friday November 27,
1992
Tags ratbert, laboratory, lab, scientist, changing, tic-tac
Transcript
A man in a lab coat hands Ratbert something that looks like a pill and says, "Just take one, Ratbert." Ratbert rolls back and forth on the lab bench and yells, "Aaargh!! I'm changing! I'm changing!" The scientist says, "It wasn't funny the first hundred times I gave you a Tic-Tac either." Ratbert says, "Let's try it again!"
Friday December 11,
1992
Tags violence, the boss, Dilbert, alice, ted, program, humor, kick me, relaxed, creative, advantage, situation
Transcript
The Boss hands a sign to Dilbert, Alice and Ted. The Boss says, "As part of my program to use more humor at work, I'm asking each of you to wear a 'kick me' sign." The Boss tapes a sign to Dilbert's back and says, "I'll check later to see if you're more relaxed and creative." Later, the Boss says to Alice, "You seem to be taking unfair advantage of the situation, Alice." Dilbert and two male co-workers stand covering their groins and looking like they are in pain.

