Solving Problem Comic Strips - Page 10
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392 Results for Solving Problem
View 91 - 100 results for solving problem comic strips. Discover the best "Solving Problem" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday October 08,
2016
Problem With The System
Tags #fired, #bottom, #firing, #termination, #layoff, #hierarchy, #logic, #illogical, #executives
Transcript
Boss: Company policy says I have to fire the bottom ten percent of performers, so... you're fired. Dilbert: I thought I was near the top. Boss: That was before I fired everyone below you. Dilbert: Can you see any problem with your system? Boss: Yes, it's exhausting.
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Saturday December 30,
2017
The Problem Is Humans
Tags #culture, #consultant, #human nature, #company culture, #business
Transcript
Boss: Our consultant has studied our corporate culture and isolated the problem. Dogbert: The problem is humans. You're all selfish, rotten liars. Boss: What kind of team-building exercise will fix that? Dogbert: I'd try something involving DNA and alien technology.
Saturday July 14,
2018
One Problem Becomes Two
Tags #complaining, #complaint, #belief, #Opinion
Transcript
Dilbert: Today a dozen people got angry at me because they believed I was privately thinking the opposite of what I was saying. Why can't people just listen to my words?? Dogbert: Have you tried not being boring? Dilbert: Whenever I tell you I have one problem, I leave with two.
Sunday September 16,
2018
Tags #Dilbert, #employee, #calendar, #week, #awkward, #problem, #schedule, #relative, #lunch, #sandwich
Transcript
Male Employee: Do you have an hour to meet next week? Dilbert: Let me check my calendar. Next week is not good. Male Employee: You don't have one hour of free time all week? Dilbert: Well, this is awkward. The problem isn't my schedule so much as your total lack of value relative to my alternatives. Male Employee: Maybe we could meet over lunch? Dilbert: I like to focus on my sandwich.
Thursday September 13,
2018
Present Company Excluded
Tags #Dilbert, #carol, #virtual, #human, #organic, #cheated, #present, #excluded, #problem
Transcript
Dilbert: I just spent three days using virtual reality with no human contact whatsoever. Now every time I interact with an organic human, I feel cheated. Carol: Present company excluded? Dilbert: Here's another problem I never have in virtual reality.
Sunday October 14,
2018
Tags #carol, #Wally, #computer, #problem, #crumbs, #crosstalk, #protocols, #help
Transcript
Carol: Wally, can you help me with a computer problem? Wally: People usually don't ask me for help. Carol: Why is that? Wally: You'll find out. Carol: I can't log in to the server. Wally: I'll need to ask you a few questions. Have you ever eaten food near your computer. Carol: Um... Yes. Wally: That's your problem. Wally: Your crumbs are causing crosstalk on the protocols. Carol: Is this why no one asks you for help? Wally: It's in the top ten.
Saturday January 19,
2019
Why Didn't You Do It Sooner
Tags #criticism, #managers & supervisors, #motivation, #office workers, #problem
Transcript
Dilbert: I solved our server reliability problem. Boss: Why didn't you do it sooner? Dilbert: If you see my motivation anywhere, tell it I miss it.
Monday June 10,
2019
Why Did You Not Tell Me Sooner
Tags #business, #career, #information, #office, #problem
Transcript
the boss to dilbert: why didn't you tell me about this problem earlier? dilbert: because you would have made decisions based on incomplete information and ruined my career. the boss walking away: okay, i didn't realize that was obvious.
Thursday November 21,
2019
Software Specs
Tags #managers & supervisors, #software, #specifications, #business, #problem, #unclear
Transcript
boss: how long will it take to write the software? dilbert: that depends. what do you want the software to do? boss: i don't know yet. dilbert: do you see the problem here? boss: is it you?
Wednesday December 25,
2019
User Complaints
Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #support, #business, #staff, #overwhelmed, #bonus, #product, #launch, #department, #problem, #cause, #fair
Transcript
dilbert: our tech support staff is overwhelmed because we shipped the wrong user guide with our product. boss: my bonus only depends on launching the product on time. tech support isn't my department. dilbert: you caused the problem. boss: who told you it was a fair world.