Special Project Comic Strips - Page 10
742 Results for Special Project
View 91 - 100 results for special project comic strips. Discover the best "Special Project" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share May 06, 1996's comic on:
The Boss, Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Wally says, "This week I kicked off the 'Wally Compensation Equilibrium Project.'" Wally continues, "My goal is to lower the quality of my work until it is consistent with my salary." The Boss thinks, "I hate the first month after they see their raises." Wally says, "I'd go on, but I just achieved equilibrium."
Share July 01, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert says, "Ratbert, my company is hiring for our quality assurance group. You'd be perfect." Ratbert asks, "What would I have to do?" Dilbert replies, "You would find flaws in our new product, thus making yourself an object of intense hatred and ridicule." Ratbert says, "But then you'd fix those flaws . . . And your respect for me would grow into a special bond of friendship, right?!" Dilbert replies, "No, then we ship."
Share July 24, 1996's comic on:
Alice stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I admit I was skeptical when you said I would be empowered to make my own decisions . . ." Alice continues, "But I give you credit. You've let me work independently for three months . . . What's that look on your face?" Alice says, "Please tell me that it was empowerment I was experiencing." The Boss asks, "Did I ever mention that your project was canceled?"
Share September 30, 1996's comic on:
Alice says to Catbert, "I need to hire a programmer for my project team." Catbert says, "Our policy is to first seek candidates from within the company. If none is qualified, you must use a sock puppet." Alice asks, "How many of your policies are designed for the sole purpose of satisfying your sadistic tendencies?" Catbert replies, "All of them. Some are just more obvious."
Share October 16, 1996's comic on:
Dogbert stands on a conference table next to a laptop and an overhead projector. Dogbert tells Alice, "Your booth at the trade show must be attention-grabbing. You have several options." Dogbert says, "1. Magic tricks 2. special effects 3. raffles 4. booth babes." Dogbert continues, "For the best result, combine all four: create the illusion that you're raffling off the booth babes." Alice asks, "Booth babes?"
Share November 11, 1996's comic on:
Catbert sits at his desk and says, "There are two ways to get an extra engineer for your project." Catbert continues, "You can transfer some unqualified loser from within the company . . ." Dilbert asks, "Or?" Catbert says, "Not so fast. I like to savor the moment before I crush your misplaced optimism."
Share December 02, 1996's comic on:
Wally, Dilbert and the Boss sit at a conference table. Wally points to a diagram and says, "This metric shows an excellent trend in the number of days since the beginning of my project." Wally continues, "That growth rate compares favorably with the best companies in our time zone." As they walk away, Wally tells Dilbert, "I'm working smarter, not harder." Dilbert says, "It's a whole new paradigm."
Share February 11, 1997's comic on:
Alice tells Dilbert, "Today I'll find out how big my bonus will be." Alice continues, "After all the work I did on that project, I'm thinking four digits, maybe five." Later, Dilbert asks, "How many digits?" Alice replies, "I used one on each hand."
Share February 17, 1997's comic on:
The Boss sits at his desk and tells Dilbert, "You didn't give me your five-year budget forecast." Dilbert replies, "You didn't ask for one." The Boss says, "It was discussed at the project review meeting." Dilbert replies, "You didn't invite me to that meeting." The Boss asks, "Did you accomplish ANYTHING this week?" Dilbert answers, "I trained the bats who live in my cubicle to juggle mushrooms."
Share February 28, 1997's comic on:
Dogbert stands on the Boss's desk and says, "Dilbert asked me to speak to you about the project plan you created without his input." Dogbert screams, "It's impossible, you arrogant baboon!!!" Dogbert continues, "Lean over here so I can slap you." The Boss says, "I'm having flashbacks to my honeymoon."