Tech Support Comic Strips - Page 10
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Character
262 Results for Tech Support
View 91 - 100 results for tech support comic strips. Discover the best "Tech Support" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday March 27,
1996
Tags department newsletter, experienced tech writer, intern, rat, respectively, skills, publisher taken
Transcript
Tina the Tech Writer, Asok the Intern and Ratbert sit at a conference table. Tina says, "Let's get one thing straight before we start writing the department newsletter . . ." Tina continues, "I'm an experienced technical writer. You are an intern and a rat, respectively. Therefore I will be the editor." Asok says, "I have no skills whatsoever. Therefore I'll be executive editor." Ratbert asks, "Is 'publisher' taken?"
Saturday May 11,
1996
Tags blood suckers, coworkers, famous novelist, lowly tech writer, scathing email messages, write a book, write witty, dogcart career counselor
Transcript
Tina the Tech Writer sits at a table with Dogbert. Tina says, "I'm a lowly technical writer now, but my goal is to become a famous novelist." Tina continues, "My plan is to write witty and scathing e-mail messages about co-workers until a publisher gives me an advance." Dogbert says, "They might expect you to write a book at some point." Tina yells, "Blood suckers!"
Wednesday July 10,
1996
Tags engineer up, management support, meeting, boss ego, master at work, promised customer, full management support, sales meeting, business
Transcript
Dilbert says to the Boss, "I need your full management support in this meeting with sales." The Boss replies, "Just watch the master at work." A man says to the Boss, "I promised a customer a product that we don't make. You need to engineer-up a thousand units by early next week." The Boss asks, "Is Thursday okay?" As they walk away, the Boss says to Dilbert, "Wait until he finds out that Thursday isn't 'early next week.' Hee hee!"
Saturday July 20,
1996
Tags update objectives, need targets, hard work, support management, picture
Transcript
Alice sits at her desk. The Boss says, "It's time for me to update your objectives, Alice." The Boss continues, "We need targets that can only be achieved by amazingly hard work plus the constant support of management." The Boss says, "I'm busy, so you'll have to write them yourself." Alice asks, "What's wrong with this picture?"
Wednesday December 11,
1996
Tags tina, tech writer, first draft, boring, presence of genius
Transcript
The Boss hands Tina the Tech Writer a document and says, "Your first draft was boring, so I added a bunch of exclamation points." Tina reads the document and says, "Wow! Those exclamation points make this technical document come alive!" The Boss thinks, "This might be that sarcasm thing I keep hearing about." Tina hugs the document and cries, "I'm in the presence of genius! I beg you to father my children!"
Tuesday December 17,
1996
Tags computer support, elbonian data base, expensive consultant, five hundred dollars, meeting, business
Transcript
The Boss, Alice, Ratbert, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We're going to replace our computer support systems with the Elbonian database product." The Boss gestures toward Ratbert and continues, "It's risky, but don't worry. I've hired an outrageously expensive consultant who has never done this before." Ratbert says to Wally, "I earned five hundred dollars just coming to this meeting. How's YOUR day going?" Wally replies, "It won't make my top ten."
Thursday January 02,
1997
Tags million dollars, ten thousand, separate business cards, value added support
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "You need a million dollars but I only have authority to sign for up to ten thousand." The Boss says, "Break it into a hundred separate business cases." Dilbert says, "Thank you for your value-added management support." The Boss replies, "It was nothing."
Wednesday March 19,
1997
Tags confides in alice, crush on dilbert, desiring engineer, report, tech writer, wrong situation
Transcript
Tina and Alice sit at a table. Tina says, "Alice, I think I'm developing a crush on Dilbert." Tina asks, "Is that so wrong?" Alice replies, "Apparently it is." Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light, appears and says, "I have a report of a tech writer desiring an engineer."
Friday October 02,
1998
Tags tina tech writer, engineers, information requested, sow seeds, destruction, snarling, compose email
Transcript
Tina the tech writer sits at her computer. Tina writes, "To: All Engineers. From: Tina the Tech Writer." Tina grimaces. Tina writes, "Give me the information I requested, or sow the seeds of your own destruction!" Tina thinks, "One should never compose e-mail while one is snarling."
Friday October 30,
1998
Tags dogcart the consultant, invisible robot, empty box, train support staff, customers house, sensors
Transcript
Caption: "Dogbert the consultant" Dogbert stands on a conference table. Dogbert says, "Some customers might complain that the invisible robot they bought from us.." Dogbert says, to Wally and Dilbert, "...is nothing but an empty box.. I will train our support staff to handle those calls." Caption: "Customer's House" A customer talks on the phone in his living room, near an empty cardboard box. He is terrified. The voice on the other end of the phone says, "According to our sensors, he's in your house... and he's watching you."

