Technical Jargon Comic Strips - Page 10
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182 Results for Technical Jargon
View 91 - 100 results for technical jargon comic strips. Discover the best "Technical Jargon" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday January 13,
2015
The Illusion Of Leadership
Tags #absent mindedness, #Advice, #forget, #forgetfulness, #jargon, #leadership, #managers, #managers & supervisors, #business
Transcript
Boss: I forget why I walked over here. Dilbert: Were you planning to spew empty jargon in my direction to create the illusion of leadership? Boss: Oh, right. But now it feels as if the moment has passed.
Sunday March 08,
2015
Tags #catch-22, #compliment, #compliments, #insult, #insulting, #work ethic, #technical skills, #perfect attendance, #risk averse, #no social life, #irrational needs, #code writing puppet
Transcript
Boss: You're a perfect employee in many ways. Dilbert: I am? Boss: For example, you have excellent technical skills. Dilbert: That's true. Boss: And your attendance is perfect. Dilbert: Yes, it is. Boss: And you are too risk-averse to quit and start your own company. Dilbert: What? Boss: Plus, you have no social life to interfere with work.Dilbert: Are these still compliments? Boss: Combine all of that with your irrational need for approval, and it makes you a code-writing puppet. Did I already say you're underpaid? Dilbert: Stop complimenting me!
Tuesday March 31,
2015
Tina Strings Economic Words Together
Tags #economist, #economy, #deception, #jargon, #prediction, #stock market, #recession, #money
Transcript
Wally The Chief Economist. Tina: My interview with you is live on the website. Nothing you said made sense, so I strung together a bunch of economic jargon and called it your forecast. One Month Later. Computer: Only one economist accurately predicted when this bubble would burst. Dilbert: Uh-oh.
Wednesday April 01,
2015
World's Greatest Economist
Tags #coincidence, #deception, #economist, #economy, #money, #random jargon, #art, #science
Transcript
Dilbert: You are being hailed as the best economist of our age because your random jargon turned out to mean something. Wally: That's nice, but as a professional economist, I only care if there is a cash award. Dilbert: The world's greatest economist should already be rich. Wally: It's more art than science.
Tuesday January 03,
2017
Technical Debt
Tags #deadline, #stress, #pressure, #coding, #programmer, #mistake, #technology
Transcript
Boss: Did you finish the software yet? Dilbert: No, I'm still paying off the technical debt from the last programmer you rushed. Boss: I don't know what that means. Dilbert: Well, that explains a lot.
Wednesday April 12,
2017
Dilbert Red Pills Asok
Tags #jargon, #language, #nonsense, #productivity, #illusion, #alternate reality
Transcript
Dilbert: Nothing in this dimension is real. Asok: Double-click on that. Dilbert: The jargon matrix is where people imagine they are being useful. But in reality, they are sitting in a chair doing nothing. Asok: I just made a ten-year technology plan.
Friday August 25,
2017
500 Pages Would Be Rubbish
Tags #writing, #criticism, #technical writer, #warning, #caution, #safety
Transcript
Boss: You need to edit the product warning from seven hundred pages down to one. Tina: Oh, that's rich. I'ma professional technical writer, and you're telling me how to write? Boss: Can you cut it down to 500 pages? Tina: Sure, if you want it to be total rubbish.
Saturday August 26,
2017
Product Warning Is Too Long
Tags #technical writer, #instructions, #caution, #warning, #safety, #criticism
Transcript
Tina: My boss, who knows nothing about technical writing, told me to cut my 700-page product warning down to 500 pages. He doesn't appreciate my art. Dilbert: Sounds like both of you are idiots. Tina: This will go smoother if you stop talking.
Wednesday March 07,
2018
Two Hour Summary
Tags #language, #jargon, #listening, #communication, #interpretation
Transcript
Boss: Thank you for that two-hour summary of your project. I didn't understand any of the jargon you used, but based on the context, I believe you are saying the software will be done soon. Alice: I didn't say anything about software. Boss: I guess neither of us did our best work today.
Tuesday March 06,
2018
When Clarity Is Not Your Friend
Tags #language, #jargon, #communication
Transcript
Boss: Your project summary needs mare jargon and acronyms. The goal is to make ourselves look smart while making the readers feel dumb. Dilbert: What about clarity? Boss: Clarity is not our friend on this one.