The Show Comic Strips - Page 10

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View 91 - 100 results for the show comic strips. Discover the best "The Show" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert

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Dilbert sits in his chair watching television and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "This show is garbage. I will eschew it." Dilbert uses the remote control to change the channel. Dilbert and Dogbert watch tv. Dogbert says, "That explains your breath." Dilbert asks, "You're in your own little world, aren't you?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #albert, #bonding, #shoulder, #massage, #team, #player, #buddy, #vulcan, #death, #grip

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Dilbert: I'll give you Albert a male bonding shoulder massage to show I'm a team player. Hey, Al! Keep up the work, Buddy! Oops... That might have been the Vulcan death grip.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #elbonia, #elbonian man, #body guard

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Dilbert packs his suitcase. Ratbert says, "I'll go with you on your trip to Elbonia. I can be your bodyguard." Dilbert replies, "It's not a good place for a rat. The mud is quite . . ." Ratbert yells, "You think I'm not tough enough? I'll show you!!" In Elbonia, an Elbonian points at a bump in the mud next to Dilbert and asks, "And THAT'S your bodyguard?" Ratbert says from under the mud, "I don't like the tone of your voice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #garbageman, #Dilbert, #spelling, #grammar, #writing, #technologists

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The garbage man looks in Dilbert's trash can and says, "Hoo-boy! I hope you're not going to show this to anybody." The garbage man reads a document and says, "Oh, it's obviously a first draft. By now you've run it though the spelling checker." Dilbert says, "Technologists are concerned with IDEAS, not spelling." The garbage man says, "Well, since you brought it up . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #organization chart, #management, #bottom, #most important employees, #payed least, #upside down chart

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The Boss: We've redesigned the organization chart to show management at the BOTTOM supporting our most important employees! Dilbert: Question: why do the most important employees get payed the least? The Boss; Because they would never think of ideas like this upside- down chart concept.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #six months, #project six months, #one month, #annual visit, #doesn't understand, #selfish boss, #impossible tasks, #time frames etc

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"If I start the project today and work nights and weekends it will take...oh, six months." "It has to be done in ONE month so we can show it to our VP on her annual visit." "I have to know; does it even cross your mind to handle this differently?" "I'll need daily status reports on why you're so behind."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nineties woman, #man pay dinner, #slap a man, #threatening

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LIZ: I'm a nineties kind of woman. I demand equality but the man must pay for dinner. "And recent surveys show that many women my age think it's okay to slap a man." DILBERT: "Really? Did they name the man?" LIZ: "Don't make me come over there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business process, #well designed porcess, #compensate, #apathy

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The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "As your consultant, I'll tell you how to improve your business processes." Dogbert continues, "I'll show you how a well-designed process can compensate for your sloth, apathy and all-around incompetence." Dogbert continues, "But most important: let's have fun."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #united charity, #kick off, #headless man, #inspirational speaker, #dignity, #quations, #head count report

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Wally hands a piece of paper to Dilbert and says, "Be at the 'United Charity' kickoff tomorrow." While Dilbert reads the paper Wally says, "I hired a headless man to be our inspirational speaker." Wally, Sally and the Boss are seated and a headless man stands in front of them with a microphone, making a speech. The headless man says, ". . . and that's how 'United Charity' game me back my dignity. Any questions?" The Boss raises his hand and asks, "How do you show up on a headcount report?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #financial advisor, #invest, #dogcart deferred earnings, #fund, #conflict of interest, #client, #interest

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Dilbert sits on a pillow on the floor working on his laptop. Dogbert tells him, "I'm going into business as a financial advisor." Dilbert says, "Sounds hard." Dogbert says, "It's easy. I'll tell all my clients to invest in the 'Dogbert Deferred Earnings Fund.'" Dilbert asks, "Isn't that a conflict of interest?" Dogbert replies, "Only if I show interest in the client."