Top Secret Data Comic Strips - Page 10

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424 Results for Top Secret Data

View 91 - 100 results for top secret data comic strips. Discover the best "Top Secret Data" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 1999's comic on:


Tags #strategic plan, #secret, #trust, #soabotage, #warranty, #chair

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Dilbert is in the boss' office. The boss says, "Make your report consistent with our strategic plan." Dilbert says, "What's out strategic plan?" The boss says, "It's a secret." Dilbert says, "Are you saying you don't trust me?" The boss says, "I don't think it's a coincidence that most employee sabotage is done by employees." Dilbert says, "How can I do my report if I don't know the strategy?! The boss says, "Okay, okay. I'll let you glance at it." The boss pulls a piece of paper out of his desk. The boss barely lets Dilbert see the paper. The boss says, "Time's up! That's long enough!" Dilbert says, "That's the warranty for your chair." The boss says, "Really? I've been managing to this for years."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2001's comic on:


Tags #topper, #top you, #ruins system, #can't go first

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss is with another man. The Boss says, "Dilbert, meet Topper. He's amazing." Dilbert looks at The Boss and a smirking Topper. The Boss says, "No matter what you say about yourself, he'll top it." Dilbert says to Topper, "How are you?" The Boss looks at Topper as Topper says, "I can't go first. It ruins my system."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2001's comic on:


Tags #training facility, #training, #secret location, #blinfolded, #drivers

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The Boss ties a blindfold over Alice's eyes and says, "No one knows the secret location of the Management Training Facility." The Boss leads the blindfolded Alice as Alice says, "If no one knows where it is, how do we get there?" Alice is sitting blindfolded in a car. The Boss is sitting in the driver's seat, also blindfolded. The Boss says, "This part can get loud."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 2001's comic on:


Tags #rebooting computer, #kicks computer, #roof top, #feel better

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Alice is on the phone in front of her computer. The person on the phone says, "Try rebooting your computer." A furious Alice is seen on top of the office building, kicking her computer off the roof. Alice peers over the side of the building on the phone and says, "Thanks. I feel much better."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2001's comic on:


Tags #exit interview, #helpful data, #personal problems, #unethical weasel, #main reason for living

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Headline: The Exit Interview. The Boss sits at his desk facing an employee. He says, "What would you say is your main reason for leaving?" The employee responds lightly, "I can't stand working for an unethical weasel." Catbert is sitting at his desk, across from The Boss. The Boss says, "Yep, personal problems." Catbert responds, "I'm glad that we collect this helpful data."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2001's comic on:


Tags #cure for carpel tunnel, #eat six bananas, #hands of teenager, #data, #medical advice, #huge pimple

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Asok is sitting at his desk, noticeably still in pain. The Boss says, "The cure for carpal tunnel is to eat six bananas a day." The Boss shakes his hand and continues, "That's what I do and I have the hands of a teenager." Asok turns around and replies, "Do you have any data to support your medical advice?" The Boss responds, "Does a huge pimple count?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2001's comic on:


Tags #bad data, #data, #grossly inaccurate, #managing is hard

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "All of our data is grossly inaccurate... but I need data in order to manage." The Boss continues, "If I concentrate hard enough I can forget that the data is bad. Then I can use it." Wally and Dilbert watch as The Boss shakes with clenched teeth. Wally says, "I have to give him credit.; managing is harder than it looks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2001's comic on:


Tags #stock market expert, #core holding, #dead cat bounce, #secret economic model, #book sales, #financial markets

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Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert is seen through a TV screen. He says, "If your core holding is a falling knife, you can dollar cost average through the dead cat bounce." A man is watching TV on his couch. Dogbert's voice continues, "My secret economic model says you should change your cash allocation from 12.4% to 12.3%." Dogbert and the TV interviewer are seen through a spilt screen on the TV. Dogbert says, "My new book is, 'If you aren't churning, you aren't learning." The interviewer replies, "Don't come back."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2001's comic on:


Tags #accounting trolls, #explination, #budget season, #spit on data, #95% spit, #finance trolls, #underground, #beneath the earth

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Headline: Accounting Trolls. Dilbert hands the trolls a piece of paper and says, "I need an explanation for these numbers." A troll responds, "This is budget season so I will spit on your data and send you away." Dilbert says, "That doesn't sound too bad." While one troll accumulates his spit, the other replies, "Our bodies are 95% made of spit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2001's comic on:


Tags #accounting trolls, #spit on data, #tour of department

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Headline: Accounting Trolls. One troll encourages the other, "Go ahead, Larry spit on his data." Larry lunges forward and spits, "PTOO!!" Dilbert is covered in spit. A troll says to him, "Can I give you a little tour of our department?"