Train Support Staff Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

335 Results for Train Support Staff

View 91 - 100 results for train support staff comic strips. Discover the best "Train Support Staff" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trolls, #hell, #payroll system, #automated sadistic, #phone system, #tech support, #complicated

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Are you the troll that handles our payroll system? I have a problem. Troll: problems are handled by our automated sadistic phone system. ASOK: For tech support, press the exact value of 22 divided by 7

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gerbil, #marketing team, #cables, #engineering support

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I moved the meeting to Tuesday. Dilbert: "I can't make it on Tuesday." " Ted: Somehow I think the marketing team can survive one meeting without engineering support." Marketing team: "We'll include a pet gerbil in every box. We'll just need to make sure it's in a sealed plastic bag so it won't chew on the cables."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech support, #another company, #determine cause

View Transcript

Transcript

"This is Dogbert's tech support. Your problem is caused by another company's product or services." "Shouldnt I tell you my problem before you determine the cause?" "Okay, let's pretend that will change my answer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vendor, #reorganization, #staff

View Transcript

Transcript

"How could you tell a vendor about out reorganization before you tell your own staff?" "Scoot." "Come into my office and we can discuss it." "Gaaaa!!! It's a trick. "C'mon phone, ring!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #best, #hire back, #not old job, #sales, #train you to lie, #worst, #desparate, #take anything, #need money, #job, #take advantage of, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says to Dilbert, "We can hire you back but not at your old job." Dilbert responds, "That's okay. I'll do anything but sales. I would be the worst salesperson on Earth." Catbert says, "It's sales." Dilbert replies, "Did I just say worst when I meant best?" Catbert responds, "We'll have to train you to lie better."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #cable compnay, #new glasses, #couch, #couch tech support

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert works for the cable company "If your picture is fuzzy then get new glasses." "If my glasses are theproblem, why does the couch look perfectly clear?" "Good question. Please hold while I transfer your to couch tech support."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech support, #online customer survey, #how happy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Tech Support: Please fill out the online customer satisfaction survey." "Um... But you haven't even tried to help me yet." "I like to base my help on how happy you expect to be."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no budget, #no staff, #wits and computer, #wits, #pencil

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I might have no budget and no staff to help me on my project, but that doesn't matter." "Because all I need are my wits and my computer." The Boss: "My computer is too slow. I'm taking yours." Dilbert: "My wits and... this pencil." The boss: "Hey, isn't that my pencil?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leadership succession plan, #freeze hiring, #staff, #pormotion, #bad idea

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: "You have to have a leadership succession plan." "There's a freeze on hiring, so you'll have to pick someone from your staff." Alice: "So, if something horrible happened to you, I'd get a promotion?" The boss: "This was a bad idea."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech support, #bad computer, #designed to be slower, #unrelaible, #defragment, #disk drive

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert's Tech Support " You have a bad case of computer rot." "Your computer is designed to become slower and more unreliable over time so you have to upgrade." "But if you'd like some false hope, I can tell you to defragment your disk drive."